Fey, Poehler mock Cosby, Phoenix, Stone during Golden Globe Awards monologue

"I don't know if you guys saw this on the news today, but Bill Cosby has finally spoken out about the allegations against him," Fey said. "Cosby admitted to a reporter: 'I put the pills in the people. The people did not want the pills in them.'"
By Karen Butler  |  Jan. 12, 2015 at 9:43 AM
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LOS ANGELES, Jan. 12 (UPI) -- Co-hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler kicked off their third and final Golden Globe Awards ceremony with a fearless monologue that took aim at numerous celebrities sitting in front of them, as well as featured dueling impressions of embattled comedian Bill Cosby.

Among their targets were Reese Witherspoon, Emma Stone, George Clooney, Joaquin Phoenix, Wes Anderson, Steve Carell and Patricia Arquette. They also addressed ageism in casting, the Sony hack attack, the theatrical release of James Franco and Seth Rogen's The Interview and the growing sexual assault allegations against Cosby, who was not present at the event.

"Welcome you bunch of despicable, spoiled, minimally talented brats," Fey teased, referring to how actress-director Angelina Jolie was described in a private email leaked in the Sony Pictures computer hack. "Tonight, we celebrate all the great television shows we know and love, as well as all the movies that North Korea was OK with."

"The biggest story in Hollywood this year was when North Korea threatened an attack if Sony Pictures released The Interview, forcing us all to pretend we wanted to see it," Poehler said.

"Reese Witherspoon is here. So great in the movie Wild. She did all her own walking. So brave," Poehler joked. "Andy Serkis was great as your backpack."

"Christoph Waltz and Amy Adams are here. They were so great in Big Eyes," Fey said.

"Yes, they were. In fact, one of those famous big-eyed paintings is on display here tonight," Poehler said as the camera panned to a smiling Emma Stone.

"It's like it's cute, but it's creepy," Fey observed.

"Patricia Arquette is here. ... Boyhood proves that there are still great roles for women over 40, as long as you get hired when you're under 40," Poehler said about the movie, which was shot over the course of 12 years.

"Joaquin Phoenix is nominated for Inherent Vice, but, obviously he isn't here tonight because he has said publicly that awards shows are total and utter bull[expletive...] Oh, hey, Joaquin. There he is," Fey greeted the actor, who was grinning and waving in his seat.

"Steve Carell is here tonight for Foxcatcher," Poehler noted. "In Foxcatcher, Steve Carell plays a paranoid, murderous billionaire. The role was a stretch for Carell, who, in real life, is a paranoid, murderous millionaire."

"Wes Anderson is here tonight for the film The Grand Budapest Hotel. Per usual, Wes arrived on a bicycle made of antique tuba parts," Poehler ribbed.

"George Clooney married Amal Alamuddin this year. Amal is a human-rights lawyer, who worked on the Enron case, was an adviser to Kofi Annan regarding Syria and was selected for a three-person U.N. commission investigating rules of war violations in the Gaza Strip," Fey said. "So, tonight, her husband is getting a lifetime achievement award."

"Hollywood!" Fey and Poehler declared.

The first Cosby quip came when the comediennes were discussing the nominated musical Into the Woods.

"In Into the Woods, Cinderella runs from her prince, Rapunzel is thrown from a tower for her prince and Sleeping Beauty just thought she was getting coffee with Bill Cosby," Poehler said.

"I don't know if you guys saw this on the news today, but Bill Cosby has finally spoken out about the allegations against him," Fey said. "Cosby admitted to a reporter: 'I put the pills in the people. The people did not want the pills in them.'"

Poehler interrupted, saying: "No, Tina, OK, that's not right. That's not right. It's more like..."

She then did her own impression of Cosby's distinctive speech pattern.

"I got the pills in the bathroom and I put them in the people," Poehler said.

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