He ticked off the roster on Wednesday's edition of his late-night chat show.
It went as follows --
9. Jimmy Carter's confession that he's cheated at Scrabble "in his heart."
8. John McCain accused of driving under the influence of soup.
6. Rumors suggesting Abraham Lincoln's hat concealed a "stovepipe head."
5. Democrats' claim Eisenhower wanted slogan "I lick Ike."
4. Walter Mondale tearfully acknowledging his hazelnut allergy.
3. Suggestion that Barack Obama has surgically enhanced ears.
2. Mitt Romney's investment in companies that order Chinese take-out.
1. Donald Trump offering $5 million to unearth anyone who still takes him seriously.
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