Jockstrip: The World As We Know It

IT'S AN HONOR JUST TO BE RAZZED

We won't know until March 23 who this year's Razzie "winners" are, but Tom Green and Mariah Carey seem to he headed for a big year.

According to Razzie buzz, Green is the front runner for worst actor, worst director and worst screenplay for the attempted comedy "Freddie Got Fingered." He's also up for worst screen couple -- paired with "any animal he abuses."

Other leading contenders for worst screen couple at this year's Razzie Awards are Tom Cruise and Penélope Cruz ("Vanilla Sky"); Sylvester Stallone and Burt Reynolds ("Driven"); and Mariah Carey's cleavage ("Glitter").

The nominations will be announced next Monday, one day before the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announces the nominees for the 74th Academy Awards.

(Thanks to UPI Hollywood Reporter Pat Nason)

THINGS WE DON'T UNDERSTAND

Apparently, the Houston Astros don't want to play at a stadium named "Enron Field." On Tuesday, team lawyers asked a bankruptcy court if they can break a naming rights agreement with Enron. They want the U.S. Bankruptcy Court for the Southern District of New York to determine if the stadium-naming deal with the Houston-based company should continue.

NEWS OF OTHER LIFE FORMS

Florida wildlife officials are tentatively blaming the state's warm winter weather for 16 deaths of manatees from boats in January -- the highest number for one month, at least since the species became endangered.

The previous high was 14 in April 2000.

The officials said the weather, which averaged 10 degrees above normal for most of last month, dispersed the manatees that normally seek warm water spots -- such as near power plants -- and also brought out more boaters.

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission is urging boaters to reduce speeds even in areas that aren't posted for speeds.

"We want to inform the boating community that their diligence, maybe not just around the power plants, might help reduce the continuation of this high level of mortality," said Kipp Frolich of the commission.

The dispute over manatee protection between boaters and environmentalists has continued for years and with the increased number of deaths it's expected to heat up. Recreational boating groups are fighting state and federal plans for more slow-speed and no-entry zones. They argue that increasing deaths are the result of more manatees in the water.

TODAY'S SIGN THE WORLD IS ENDING

On Tuesday, the Los Angeles Times ran an ad for a medical clinic that may have set a new low for exploitation.

In its main news section, the Times ran a two-column, seven-inch ad that grabbed readers' attention with a single word in extra large type, all capitals: "SCHIZOPHRENIA" The subhead, in slightly smaller type: "California Clinical Trials is looking for a few beautiful minds" -- a reference to the Russell Crowe film about Nobel Laureate and schizophrenia sufferer John Nash.

The ad went on, "We're conducting important studies on investigational (sic) medication for schizophrenia." It promised free exams and lab tests and monetary compensation for qualified study subjects.

AND FINALLY, TODAY'S UPLIFTING STORY

Love means spending time together. That's according to a Valentine's Day poll commissioned by the American Heart Association. When asked the best way to show someone you care, more than 50 percent of people surveyed cited togetherness --- making it the No.1 answer. Time fared better than showing affection or buying expensive gifts like jewelry, clothes or electronics.

Four out of 10 people polled said they preferred to celebrate Valentine's Day with dinner at a restaurant, while nearly 30 percent felt a vacation or getaway was the most romantic way to celebrate the holiday. But don't bring the kids or make it a group activity. Most people report they prefer to spend Valentine's Day with their spouse or significant other. Valentine's Day with family and children ranked a distant second.

The survey was conducted as part of the organization's Power of Love fund-raising campaign.