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'The Originals' star Claire Holt feeling 'broken' after miscarriage

By Annie Martin
Claire Holt spoke out Sunday after losing her unborn first child with Andrew Joblon. File Photo by Jim Ruymen/UPI
Claire Holt spoke out Sunday after losing her unborn first child with Andrew Joblon. File Photo by Jim Ruymen/UPI | License Photo

March 5 (UPI) -- The Originals star Claire Holt is feeling "broken" after having a miscarriage.

The 29-year-old Australian actress announced in an Instagram post Sunday that she lost her unborn first child with fiancé Andrew Joblon in February.

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Holt shared a throwback photo of herself giving a thumbs-up at the hospital. She said she sent the picture to Joblon to assure him she was okay, although she was really feeling "depression and hopelessness."

"I took this photo 10 days ago, as I waited for surgery after my sweet little baby lost its heartbeat. I sent it to my fiancé in the waiting room to show him that I was ok. I wasn't. I've never felt more broken in my life," the star wrote.

Holt said she found some solace in a community of women online who had also experienced a miscarriage. Connecting with people who understood her feelings encouraged her to share her story with her followers.

"After my D & C, I spent hours on the Internet searching for women who had been through it," the actress recalled. "I found a community of women who shared my exact experience. Who were open and vulnerable about miscarriage, something that isn't often or openly discussed.

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"It breaks my heart to think that losing a baby feels like something we have to keep to ourselves," she said. "So many people go through it and understand the breadth of pain, yet so few people talk about it."

I took this photo 10 days ago, as I waited for surgery after my sweet little baby lost its heartbeat. I sent it to my fiancé in the waiting room to show him that I was ok. I wasn’t. I’ve never felt more broken in my life. I debated sharing this so soon and I’m still frightened about making such a private struggle public, but I’m doing it anyway because it's important. After my D & C, I spent hours on the internet searching for women who had been through it. I was desperate to find someone, anyone, who could relate to what I was feeling. Someone to tell me that the depression and hopelessness were normal. That it wasn’t my fault. That I wasn’t broken forever. I found a community of women who shared my exact experience. Who were open and vulnerable about miscarriage, something that isn’t often or openly discussed. It breaks my heart to think that losing a baby feels like something we have to keep to ourselves. Why is it any different than the death of a loved one? How is it any less meaningful? Here is what I have learned as I begin to crawl out of the dark hole: support is everything. I could not have survived this without the unconditional love of my partner. Despite his pain, he was my rock and my safety net. I will never know how to thank him. I also found that opening up to people is crucial. As soon as I told my story, almost everyone I spoke to told me theirs - their own, their wife’s, their sister’s. So many people go through it and understand the breadth of pain, yet so few people talk about it. Finally, I want to share a blog post that resonated with every part of me. You can find the link in my bio, @leandramcohen of @manrepeller articulates the emotional rollercoaster with an eloquence that I could never possess. To anyone out there who has been through a miscarriage, I understand you. I share every bit of your pain and you are not alone. Please be kind to yourself and I hope that you will be comfortable sharing your story too.

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A post shared by Claire Holt (@claireholt) on

Holt got engaged to Joblon in December following her split from husband Matthew Kaplan in April after nearly one year of marriage. She said in her post that she will "never know how to thank" Joblon for his support after her miscarriage.

"I could not have survived this without the unconditional love of my partner. Despite his pain, he was my rock and my safety net," the star said.

Holt is known for playing Rebekah Mikaelson on The Vampire Diaries and its spinoff, The Originals. She also portrayed Samara Cook on Pretty Little Liars and Charmain Tully on Aquarius.

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