WATCH: 'SNL' spoofs Obama's sequester response

Jay Pharoah's President Barack Obama opened this weekend's "Saturday Night Live" with a press conference explaining how everyday Americans would be impacted by the sequester, $85 billion in federal budget cuts that went into effect Friday when lawmakers failed to reach a compromise.

"I could explain it in financial terms or in human terms," Pharoah's Obama said. "But since I have no idea how money works or how budgets work, I'll go with human terms instead."

With the help of a Border Patrol agent, an astronaut, a zoo keeper and the Village People (why not?), Obama went on to explain how federal budget cuts would hit home, even if your home is the White House.

"From now on, my wife Michelle will only do four television appearances a week, down from her usual 75,” he said.

"Nine months from now, you won't remember this sequester," the president concluded with a terrifying reminder. "There'll be another, way worse financial crisis to deal with."