Anniversary Article from the Wall Street Workers' Journal, July 9, 2052.
It is almost impossible for those of us living in our beloved United Socialist States of America in this happy age to grasp the bizarre fact that no one expected the Collapse of Capitalism until it literally happened.
With the benefit of hindsight and through the use of the long-since-vindicated Marxist-Leninist dialectic, this collapse was of course inevitable. All the inherent contractions of the capitalist system were clearly in place.
The objective circumstances of the American capitalist economy had been deteriorating for decades. Their structural decay was as advanced as that of the Soviet economy was by 1990. The difference was that whereas the mighty, invincible Soviet economy was only ruined by the diabolical intrigues of the American capitalists, those same greedy, stupid capitalists then brought their own ruin entirely upon themselves.
It is true that there have been some regrettable deviationists who have insisted that collapse was not inevitable and that it could have been averted had not the last president of the old United States, George W, Bush, not followed such irresponsible, stupid and inept policies. They have all since learned better in their comfortable -- and entirely secure -- re-education camps, scenically located in Arctic Alaska, the Rocky Mountains and the Mojave Desert.
The exploiters who ran what was left of the U.S. economy into the ground during the "Roaring Nineties" Era of the notorious "Booster Bill" Clinton were blind to the dangers of the obvious speculative bubbles in Internet stocks and real estate that they were creating. They were equally oblivious to the dangers of the enormous balance of payments trading deficits of hundreds of millions of dollars per year -- the greatest in the history of the world that they carelessly ran up year after year.
"Booster Bill" actually made some progress in reversing the vast federal budget deficits that had ballooned out of control since the early 1980s and ran -- it is now usually forgotten -- two years of budget surpluses. But the dominant capitalist passions of shortsighted greed and stupidity quickly reasserted themselves. Before Bush had been in office for a year and half, those surpluses had been squandered for good.
Bush was even blind to the last fiscal dam that still held back the roaring floodwaters of Socialist Judgment. During the first half of his second -- and last -- year in office, the long mighty dollar declined by around 10 percent against both the other major international trading currencies of the day, the Japanese yen and the European euro.
Bush even appears to have been oblivious to the fact the 15-nation EU, controlled and directed behind the scenes by France, was determined to topple the dollar and replace it with the euro as the dominant currency of international capitalism.
The Europeans of course, were too short sighted and greedy themselves to realize the obvious fact that they would be engulfed in the universal ruin as well. But then, as our great Russian guide Vladimir Ilyich Lenin, whose works remain happily compulsory reading in our advanced federal school network, loved to remark, capitalists will always sell the ropes with which to hang themselves.
When Bush gave his now legendary speech on Wall Street on "Super-Black Tuesday", July 9, 2002 pledging to rein in the corporate criminals of the Wall Street stock markets and major corporations, he was still oblivious to the vast thunderclouds that had gathered over his head. His promises of long overdue federal action to bring corporate malefactors to book was even widely applauded in the capitalist --controlled media of the time, so much at variance and as it was with the fearlessly conformist, relentlessly truthful, socialist-inspired, federally-directed broadcasting institutions of our own happy -- and regulated -- day.
But it was clear to the overseas capitalist investors upon whom America had become catastrophically dependent over the previous 20 years that Bush was just going through the same old routines of promising a show of action without its reality. They saw clearly that no effective enforcement teeth would be given to any of the old and new agencies and regulations he was proposing to beef up. And they reacted accordingly.
Like rats leaving the sinking Titanic of capitalism, scores of thousands of overseas investors began what became a mad rush in capital flight to switch their wealth to other markets. Hundreds of millions of dollars fled the United States at that time.
The boom era of our Ideological Enemy, Capitalist Russia, was inaugurated then. Much to the astonishment of the semi-socialized Europeans, the investors far preferred after their traumatic experiences as dupes of American speculators to pour their wealth into a nation that had real wealth and resources in its territory, however undeveloped, as it then was.
Within a month, unemployment in the United States had soared to 25 percent. Within three months, the hyperinflation triggered by the collapse of the dollar had reached the level of Weimar Germany in 1923. The dark winter that followed was a time of chaos. A brighter future only began to emerge when populist patriots stormed the Winter White House in Crawford, Texas on the anniversary of the Bolshevik Revolution.
Nevertheless, the road to the establishment of true security and freedom in our current beloved USSA over the next decade was long and hard. The events of those days have been recaptured in our historically accurate popular crime movies such as the "Clean Harry" series in which a heroic USKGB agent roots out capitalist corruption, and wrongdoing. But once the USSA was finally established, a repentant Francis Fukiyama recognized the inevitable triumph of socialism in his classic work, "The Start of History."
Alas, the heroic socialist founders of our beloved USSA were unable to undo all the mistakes of the greedy, exploiting capitalists. Outlying regions such as the Republic of California seceded from the old capitalist American Union. Arizona and New Mexico sought protection and relief by petitioning to rejoin Mexico. Texas was kicked out of the Union by the overwhelming plebiscite vote of the rest of the population to prevent it inflicting any more national leaders like Bush on the American people.
Some senile, bitter old counter-revolutionary running dogs fled to Moscow where the last among them continue to preach their discredited old lies about democracy, free markets and freedom. They maintain that the capitalist, free market system was not inherently flawed and doomed and that the greedy and stupid mistakes of the last U.S. administrations, especially that of Bush himself, were avoidable, and could have been corrected.
Let them visit some of our advanced re-education centers and we will soon teach them the errors of their ways.
