Jockstrip: The world as we know it

Florida panther raids petting zoo

NAPLES, Fla., Feb. 15 (UPI) -- A Florida panther that grabbed two chickens and a turkey from an Everglades petting zoo returned for second helpings.

The panther, nicknamed Don Juan because he is known to have fathered at least 30 kittens, was found 12 hours later a few hundred yards away from the Trail Lakes Campground and petting zoo, the Naples Daily News reported. He was sedated and moved 20 miles away last Friday.

Don Juan returned to the area on Saturday but wandered off because the campground was holding a loud concert. On Monday, he is believed to have grabbed a chicken and goose being kept in a yard about 3 miles away.

Florida panthers are one of the rarest large mammals in the world. But their numbers have tripled to 87 in the past decade, and they are colliding with humans in southwest Florida.

David Shealey, who owns the petting zoo and campground, would like to see a halt to development.

There's a limit how many animals can survive in a single cage, and that's what the Everglades is becoming -- a cage," he said.

Cop suspended for night job as comic

WEST ORANGE, N.J., Feb. 14 (UPI) -- A police officer's night job as "Club Soda Kenny," a standup comic specializing in bathroom humor could cost him his day job.

The West Orange Police Department suspended Sgt. John Feder last week after someone sent the City Council a compact disc of his act. Feder, who was an investigator with the internal affairs division, now faces internal charges of his own.

"He's been a hard-working, productive detective for a long, long time," Police Chief James P. Abbott told the New York Times. "But we have a code of conduct for a reason."

The department claims that Feder used an office computer to write a monologue and violated a regulation requiring officers to notify the department about second jobs. Feder's lawyer, Paul Bergrin, says the case is about freedom of speech and believes that the CD came from a police officer Feder investigated.

Feder got into standup through another moonlighting job, as a bodyguard for Andrew Dice Clay. He even took his stage name from Clay's on-stage order to him -- "Get me a club soda, Kenny."

Bus driver rejected as too heavy for seat

BOLTON, England, Feb. 14 (UPI) -- A British bus driver says his former employer refused to rehire him, saying his 266-pound body could break the seat.

Stuart Wood, 28, said officials at First Bus in Bolton, England, told him their bus driver weight limit is 238 pounds "in case the seat collapsed and the driver sued the company."

"I was shocked to be refused because they're always crying out for drivers," the 6-foot-1 man told The London Mirror.

"It's discrimination. I know I'm a big lad but I'm into weight lifting so I'm strong," Wood said.

Bus officials cited safety considerations for rejecting Wood.

Wood said he was even more surprised to be turned down since he had lost nearly 30 pounds since the last time he worked for the company in northern England.

"I had no problems driving a bus when I was bigger ... but there is no way I will be able to get under (238 pounds)," he said.

ID thief steals info from judge's wife

HILLSBORO, Mo., Feb. 15 (UPI) -- A Miami man who stole a Missouri woman's identity on-line apparently did not know she is a judge's wife.

"It was an unfortunate choice of victims," said Jefferson County Prosecuting Attorney Bob Wilkins told the Jefferson County Journal.

Nancy Wegge of Festus realized something was amiss when Dell Computer called to make sure she had placed a large order. The company was suspicious because the items were to be delivered to Miami while the billing address was Wegge's home.

The investigation led to Henry Lee Berry of Miami. Investigators now believe, based on a search of his home and the houses of two relatives, that he stole the identities of at least 30 Missouri residents, although they are still unsure how he did it.

Berry was arrested last week. Authorities in Missouri are seeking extradition.