Don't try this at home -- or elsewhere!

Don't try swallowing the loot ... remember that one?

A week ago. it was gratuitously advised that swallowing a $13,000 diamond was not such a terrific idea; more accurately, getting caught swallowing a $13,000 diamond was not advised.

The British Broadcasting Corp. report from Colombo, Sri Lanka, said a man had swallowed an expensive diamond, while an accomplice replaced it with a fake.

The diamond's owner, Suresh de Silva had spotted the man swallowing the diamond and the jig was up.

But what happened to the diamond?

A police spokesman now says that a convincing dose of laxatives later and it turns out the would-be thief did not swallow the real diamond; he swallowed a fake with the expectation that he would be seen doing so in order to divert attention from an accomplice who was supposed to get away with the real gem.

The thief was carrying at least a half dozen more fake gems, besides the one swallowed, police said.

In Miami Beach, Fla., don't try using a stolen credit card in the same neighborhood in which the card was stolen.

With a credit card snatched from a parked car, a thief headed to a local bar to drink to his luck.

It turns out, his luck had run out, as it was the bartender's car the thief had broken into, The Miami Herald reported.

The bartender recognized his card and called the police.

That's not the only Florida bar where someone's luck ran out. Follow along and see how many different possibilities you can find for the following particular evening to go wrong:

Authorities said a woman was accused of armed robbery after pulling a gun on a man while having sex with him.

There might be a few opportunities for something to go wrong there, but then factor in that this alleged armed robbery took place in a moving car.

In response to having a gun pulled on him, the man punched the woman in the face, which is partly why this is a story about a robbery and partly a story about a car crash.

All this took place in Port Charlotte, and it all began when the robbery victim and two friends picked up two women at a bar and the victim paid one of the women $120 to have sex with him.

Yes, the plot thickens.

The women then ditched the man, who tried to catch up with them later, except the woman he had paid was no longer around. It was the woman he had not paid who got back into the car and is accused of pulling a gun on him while having sex with him.

So it's a simple case of allegedly driving while under the influence with the slightly odd addition of being allegedly robbed at gunpoint by an alleged friend of a prostitute who the man had pickup up in a local bar.

If there isn't a law against asking for trouble, this might be a good time to write one.