Wife hopes she'll see Swayze again

LOS ANGELES, Oct. 28 (UPI) -- Lisa Niemi said she is still overwhelmed by grief following the death last month of Hollywood actor Patrick Swayze, her husband of 34 years.

Swayze died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 57.

Niemi spoke publicly Tuesday for the first time since losing her husband at a Grief, Healing and Resilience roundtable at the Women's Conference 2009 in Long Beach, Calif., People.com said.

"When the grief takes you, it's like your body is not your own," the magazine's Web site quoted Niemi as saying at the event.

"I'm just going with the flow. I know I have to go through it," she explained. "I have a few girlfriends that are just amazing. They have made themselves available to me 24/7. They say, 'We don't care if it's 2 in the morning, call me.' ... I was in the middle of a full-blown panic attack one evening ... and I picked up the phone and called one, which is really hard for me to do because I'm used to being so self-sufficient and taking care of myself, but the very act of picking the phone up to call someone helped to calm me."

Niemi said she only hoped she told Swayze she loved him enough during their life together.

"I am so grateful for what I had and my connection to him, and part of me believes that I will see him again," People.com reported Niemi said. "And I'm just going to have to go on until then."