Aug. 23 (UPI) -- Dear Don,
You asked my advice about properties that might be for sale. Your idea of buying Greenland was stunning. But, unfortunately, regarding that sale, the Shakespearean view that "something is nasty in Denmark" clearly remains true. And the deal is dead -- for the moment. Perhaps that was good luck.
That said, you should look elsewhere for international real estate. Perhaps India's Prime Minister Modi might find an offer for Kashmir Jammu attractive. Modi wishes to develop the economy of the province. Who better than you to be the developer? As the province is Muslim, this would be a far better locale to send undesirable Muslims whether members of Congress or the Islamic State and al Qaeda detainees held elsewhere.
Closer to home, UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson has several choice pieces of property that could come on the market. Scotland and Northern Ireland top the list. With a no-deal Brexit looming, Scotland and Northern Ireland could elect to remain in the European Union. Far better to sell both countries to you as the first step in a free trade agreement with England. And Johnson could use the money.
As you already own two golf courses in Scotland, the opportunity for expansion is quite real. Throw in the whiskey trade and Trump Scotch could be a gold mine. And for an extra sum, the Queen might forgo her digs at Balmoral that reportedly makes Mar a Lago look like a guest house or to some an s-hole.
Canada might be a bridge too far. If Mexico spoke English that would be another matter. Ditto for Cuba where it is rumored that the Castros are looking for an exit strategy. Of course Nikolas Maduro might put Venezuela on the block if the price were right.
You want to bring Russia back into the G-8. A deal clincher might be offering to purchase Crimea, parts of eastern Ukraine and possibly South Ossetia. You would have to give President Putin the rights to keep his navy in Crimea, which should not be a problem.
Italy, Greece, Albania and Montenegro have petitioned the State Department as candidates for purchase. If the U.S. were clever, it would hold an auction for potential purchasers. And instead of mega-lotteries, bets on which territories will be bought could raise millions and possibly billions for the Treasury to compensate for the coming trillion dollar deficits.
But it is China that offers the second greatest opportunity: Hong Kong. The riots in Hong Kong are becoming a great nuisance. Further, with Hong Kong part of America, resolving the trade and tariff wars might be facilitated. That would depend on the price, and here the Chinese could be tough. Perhaps the Brits can provide some insights based on 1997 and returning the colony to Beijing.
Yet the ideal candidate for purchase should be Israel. This would be a trifecta for you. You could section off Gaza and sell it to the Arab states. The West Bank would be more problematic. But with Israel now part of the United States, Washington would be responsible for defense and security. This would save Israelis billions. And the U.S. would no longer have to remit the three or four billion dollars it does every year.
This would also clear the way for peace with the Arab and Muslim worlds because the United States would be the new sovereign. Instead of having a prime minister, the new U.S. Israeli possession would have a governor and representatives to Congress. The downside is that Israel as part of America would no longer be a political divisive issue that could hurt you in 2020.
The only person who could consummate this deal is your son-in-law Jared Kushner who is already responsible for peace making in the Middle East. In fact, he could be an ideal governor if your daughter and his wife Ivanka did not wish the position. Benjamin Netanyahu would have to be given a post or at least a healthy retirement package possibly as the new president of Trump Middle East because the opportunities for Trump Towers, universities and golf courses would be legion.
After this acquisition, as the "Chosen One" you could move on to other regions. Indeed, if there were a public-private partnership, you could become an owner giving you something to do in 2025 if you chose not to amend the Constitution and run for a third term. Maybe Greenland would be back in play. Who knows?