2017 Odd News holiday gift guide

By Ben Hooper Contact the Author   |  Dec. 11, 2017 at 5:59 AM
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Dec. 11 (UPI) -- With Black Friday, Small-Business Saturday and Cyber Monday in the increasingly-distant past, you might be feeling increasing pressure from the approaching holidays to find the perfect gifts for those hard-to-shop-for friends and family members.

UPI's Odd News, as always, is here to help! With the picky recipient in mind, we are pleased to unveil our 2017 Holiday Gift Guide for the savvy shopper on a not-so-strapped budget.

A $9,000 ball of yarn

Photo by Tiffany.com

Just think of all the things your loved one could knit with this ball of yarn! Well, that list might actually be rather limited, as this particular ball of yarn "is reimagined in handspun strands of textured sterling silver."

The yarn ball, part of Tiffany's "Everyday Objects" line of products, retails for the bargain-basement price of $9,000.

Pre-destroyed shoes

Photo by NeimanMarcus.com

Is there a special someone in your life who needs some fashionable sneakers, but doesn't have the time or energy to completely destroy them? Well, you're in luck!

Designer Maison Margiela's "Future Destroyed High-Top Sneaker," sold online by Neiman Marcus, have all the functionality of new shoes, but with the aesthetics of having spent a few hours in the mouth of a German shepherd. The chewed-up kicks come with a $1,425 price tag, but remember you're not just paying for the shoes, you're paying for the convenience of pre-destruction.

Colonel Sanders' Internet Escape Pod

Photo by KFC

Do the members of your family have a hard time looking up from their devices for some much-needed face-to-face bonding time? KFC has the solution: An "Internet Escape Pod" that will force your family into meatspace by blocking all incoming and outgoing wireless signals.

The structure, essentially a combination indoor tent and metal cage, features the friendly likeness of Colonel Sanders spread across the top, selflessly using his own body to prevent your teenage cousin from updating her Facebook. The Internet Escape Pod costs $10,000, but the price includes the cost of assembly as well as exclusivity -- there is only one available.

An over-sized Prada paperclip

Photo by Barneys.com

The future might be paperless, but in the present, paper is everywhere. How do you keep it all from being spread across the room by a strong breeze? With a $185 paper clip, of course!

The item, officially a "Paperclip-Shaped Money Clip," is manufactured by Prada and sold online by high-end retailer Barney's. The clip, made from polished sterling silver, bears the word "Prada" down the side, so the lucky recipient will know you shelled out the big bucks for their new favorite office item.

Clear Knee Mom Jeans

Photo by Nordstrom.com

You don't need to be a mom to love a good pair of mom jeans -- who doesn't look their best in a high-waisted pant with a baggy fit and a capri cuff? There's only one problem with the style: How are you supposed to show off your knees in a pair of jeans that extend to the lower calf?

Topshop to the rescue! "Clear Knee Mom Jeans," available the low, low price of $95 on Nordstrom's online store, offer all of the benefits of your average frumpy denim slacks, plus the addition of plastic windows to show off your knees. You might just want to make these your gift to yourself this Christmas or Hanukkah!

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