Don't try this at home -- or elsewhere!

By ANTHONY HALL, United Press International  |  Jan. 1, 2012 at 1:27 AM
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Don't try this at home: Storing letters from your ex-lover, when you happen to be married.

Someday that could catch up with you.

It caught up with a 96-year-old woman in Rome this week, when her husband of 77 years found a trove of old love letters concerning an affair she had 50 years ago.

The Italian news agency ANSA reported the man, age 99, filed for divorce. The woman is not putting up a fight, ANSA reported.

In Florida, don't pull a Jackson Pollock on your ex-boyfriend.

Wielding a can of pink paint, a woman in Hallandale, Fla., attacked her ex by dousing him and his car with pink paint. She also left a hand print on the front seat of his car, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported.

She also gave her ex a nasty bite, leaving an imprint of her teeth on his arm.

The newspaper said Tasha Franklin was charged with dating battery, burglary of the victim's car and criminal mischief.

The judge told her to stay away from her boyfriend, weapons and paint.

And this may just be a shot in the dark, but how about a New Year's resolution for all those "packing" to take a gun safety refresher course in 2012?

Last week, a dog in a truck during a hunting trip knocked into a loaded weapon in the back seat, which fell and shot the passenger of the car in the leg.

This week, in Orange City, Fla., a John Ebberts was awakened at 2:30 in the morning by the sound of his dog barking. In response, the man grabbed his loaded gun, which was under his pillow, and accidentally shot himself in the arm, the Daytona Beach News-Journal reported.

If keeping a gun under your pillow sounds like a risky place to keep a gun, how ill-advised is it to sit on the toilet with a loaded gun tucked in the waistband of your pants?

Police in New Haven, Conn., said the gun slipped out of the waistband, fell on the floor and accidentally shot Darrel Johnson, who was sitting on the toilet at the time.

Apparently, this was so embarrassing that Johnson, a convicted felon, told police he had been shot during a robbery attempt, WVIT New Britain/Hartford/New Haven reported.

After questioning, he admitted the gun went off while he was sitting on the throne.

Finally, don't try second-guessing your predictions for 2012.

In Britain, a member of the BBC prognostication panel said that next year it is likely that none of his predictions will come true.

The seer, Stephen Sackur, said most of his predictions for 2011 bombed, so he predicted next year his predictions will bomb again, The Daily Telegraph reported.

Here's the problem: His prediction that none of his predictions will come true will, very likely, come true, so, as it happens, he's wrong again.

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