Don't try this at home -- or elsewhere!

Go get 'em!

A Michigan man filed a five-page, hand-written lawsuit in court charging Gov. Rick Snyder with cruel and unusual punishment because he is not allowed pornography in jail.

"Such living conditions have been used as a method of 'psychological warfare' against prisoners, in order to both destroy the morale of inmates and break the spirit of individuals," The Detroit News reported Kyle Richards wrote in his complaint.

Favorite bank robbery of all time:

In Atlanta this week, a man walked up to a teller in a Wells Fargo branch office, handed her a note demanding money and explaining that he had a gun.

Then, with no explanation and with no money, the thief left the bank empty-handed -- just walked away, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported.

That would be an all-time great holdup -- not the one most easy to explain.

Favorite would-be arrest of all time:

A woman in South Carolina called 911 and told the dispatcher to send the police -- so they could take her to jail. Her crime, she explained, was slapping her husband because he refused to have sex with her.

Caught on the 911 phone taping system, the woman said, "Basically I slapped him this morning because he wouldn't have sex with me, and he hasn't had sex with me in a couple of months, so I slapped him across the face and he wants me to go to jail."

WMBF-TV, Myrtle Beach, reported the police did not say if they arrested the woman or not.

A lap dance would have been cheaper:

Four exotic dancers and two female bartenders in Daytona Beach, Fla., this week were awarded $195,000 in federal court to compensate them for illegal strip searches conducted during a 2009 drug raid at a gentlemen's club.

The women who endured the improper searches will each get $5,000, while their lawyers are the big winners, banking $165,000, the Orlando Sentinel reported.

Besides using a search warrant the judge ruled was illegal, the strip searches took place in front of 20 male police officers or, as it happens, 91 percent of the city of Daytona Beach Shores public safety officers, given the city's Web site says there are 22 public safety officers on the police force.