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Jockstrip: The world as we know it

By United Press International

Bank robber remembers wig, forgets bag

WEST PATERSON, N.J., Aug. 28 (UPI) -- A New Jersey bank robber lost 86 percent of his stolen cash during his escape since he apparently forgot to bring a bag with him.

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The Herald News reported that the unidentified thief entered the Wachovia bank in Elmwood Park Friday to pull off a daring midday heist, but after grabbing $1,385 from a cash register found himself without a bag to place it in and unsuccessfully attempted to make do without one.

Police said that the man, who wore a long curly wig, lost at least $1,195 during his escape from the scene and that money was reacquired by authorities an hour later.

The newspaper said that police officials would not comment regarding what exactly occurred during the thief's escape, but have asked anyone with information regarding the robbery to contact local authorities.


Baby born in hospital parking lot

ALLENTOWN, Pa., Aug. 28 (UPI) -- Stephanie French came up short of the emergency room in Pennsylvania and ended up giving birth in a car in the parking lot of Lehigh Valley Hospital.

Philadelphia's WCAU-TV reported that French and her boyfriend, Robert Walker, tried to make it to the hospital in time last Thursday but ultimately she was forced to give birth to their daughter, Dakota, on the front seat of their car just outside the hospital's doors.

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"We made it just in the nick of time," French said. "I remember him saying 'Don't have her in the car. Don't have her in the car.'"

Hospital valet Bob Scholl saw the couple arrive and helped French remember to breathe.

The TV station said both mother and baby are healthy and Dakota came into the world weighing an even seven pounds.


Mississippi YMCA offers cow patty bingo

OLIVE BRANCH, Miss., Aug. 28 (UPI) -- Using satellite technology and a Shetland pony, a YMCA in Olive Branch, Miss., offered cow patty bingo this weekend to raise funds for a racquetball court.

The Memphis Commercial Appeal reported nearly 75 people attended the unusual event Saturday at Olive Branch City Park and paid $10 to guess on which of the 3-by-3-foot squares available a Shetland pony named Thumper would choose to relieve itself.

Thumper stood in for farm-mate Milkshake the bull, who refused to get into his trailer and couldn't make the event.

With no definite time frame after it began 10 a.m., those in attendance entertained themselves by playing games or chatting until the moment of truth arrived.

Once the location was marked with orange paint, its exact position on the field in relation to the 238 marked squares was determined through the use of a Global Positioning System.

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The winner received 15 percent of the overall ticket sales, which totaled $2,560, with the remaining proceeds going towards the YMCA court, the newspaper said.


Residents find corpse in water tower

YONGHE CITY, Taiwan, Aug. 28 (UPI) -- Residents of a complex in Youghe City, Taiwan, stopped drinking the water after they found the body of a man in the building's water tower, police say.

The residents decided to check the rooftop water tower after noticing their drinking water smelled unusual and looked cloudy over the past few days, the Taipei Times reports.

Police say they believe the 27-year-old man had been in the water tower for at least three days.

The 20 families living in the building were horrified they might have been drinking contaminated water, and immediately stopped using tap water after the corpse was discovered.

No one reported any illness, the Times said.

Police said they believe the man accidentally fell into the 10-foot-high tower while under the influence of drugs.

Prosecutors will conduct an autopsy to determine the cause of death.

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