Jockstrip: The world as we know it

By United Press International  |  Aug. 24, 2005 at 6:00 AM
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Spin cites Madonna's navel

NEW YORK, Aug. 24 (UPI) -- Spin magazine has chosen Madonna's navel as the No. 1 "most incredible" rock star body part.

"It's what first marked her as a mainstream provocateur," the magazine said in explaining why she tops the Top 25 list in the magazine's September issue.

No. 2 is the liver of Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards.

"When Richards finally passes, they'll line the exterior of the space shuttle with his liver tissue," the magazine says.

Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee's legendary "package" also made the list as did REM singer Michael Stipe's shaved head, the mammoth tongue of KISS' Gene Simmons, Bruce Springsteen's rear, Elvis Presley's hips, Tina Turner's eternally young legs and the toned chest of rapper 50 Cent.

Man threatens to 'clip' ice cream driver

WEST HARTFORD, Conn., Aug. 24 (UPI) -- A West Hartford, Conn., man faces charges for threatening to castrate a teenage ice cream truck driver because he didn't like his jingles.

Matthew Flynn, 46, was trimming his hedges Sunday night when the Melly's Ice Cream truck drove through his neighborhood playing the jingles such trucks use to lure youthful customers, the Hartford Courant reported.

Clippers in hand, Flynn allegedly blocked the truck and told the driver there were no children on his street so he should turn off his music and never come back.

A police spokesman said Flynn then threatened to castrate the teenage driver and made "the chopping motion with the hedge trimmer."

Flynn was charged with threatening and breach of peace.

Superintendent finds finger part on fence

JERSEY CITY, N.J., Aug. 24 (UPI) -- Jersey City, N.J., officials Tuesday tried to finger a man who apparently lost a digit while climbing a short fence to visit his girlfriend.

Apartment building superintendent Franklin Rodriguez found the 1 1/2 inch section of finger stuck to the top of a 4-foot tall chainlink fence Saturday, the Jersey Journal reported.

Police followed a trail of blood to a tenant's apartment, but no one was home. In addition, police said, none of the area hospitals reported anyone coming in missing a chunk of finger.

The unclaimed digit was sent to the state medical examiner's office as evidence.

Rodriguez said the tenant -- who was still missing -- may have climbed the fence to visit his girlfriend, who lived on the other side.

He said he was baffled, however, why the quiet man in his 50s didn't just walk around the fence.

620-pound swordfish caught in Florida

STUART, Fla., Aug. 24 (UPI) -- Three exhausted south Florida fishermen who battled to bring in a 620-pound swordfish from the Atlantic could have a new state record.

The men set out from Stuart, north of West Palm Beach, Sunday night in a 31-foot boat and wound up returning Monday morning with a fish nearly half that long, the Stuart News reported.

The catch was unofficially recorded at 620 pounds, 13.3 feet in length, including a 4.5-foot bill.

"Yep, quite a birthday present," said Brian Bergen, who turned 34 Monday.

"It's so valuable to me because of memories," said boat captain Tim Palmer, who said the three friends would each get a molded replica of the prize catch. He said he wasn't too excited when the fish took the squid bait more than 600 feet down, and none of the crew had any idea initially how big the fish was.

The state record swordfish of 612 pounds, 12 ounces was caught May 7, 1978, off Key Largo. The world-record weighed 1,182 pounds, and was caught May 7, 1953, off Iquique, Chile

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