Analysis: Field day of doom prophets

WASHINGTON, March 17 (UPI) -- As the war on Iraq approaches, the prophets of doom are having a field day. You try to check your e-mail first thing in the morning, and there's an ad purporting to give you irrefutable evidence that the Antichrist is already among us.

You turn on CNN, and there's an anchorman asking an interviewee with a straight face if the current scenario doesn't remind him of the "Book of Revelations" (sic); actually he meant "Book of Revelation" (singular) at the end of the Bible, but that's a moot point.

Type the words "Iraq" and "Armageddon" into the Google search engine, and be dazzled by results. "Tribulation.com" reminds you of all the signs preceding the Apocalypse -- the plagues, famines, earthquakes, wars and rumors of war, the "false christs," unrest in Jerusalem, the wicked church, which Revelation describes as a harlot; then you are told, "Watch for the construction of the third Temple."

Take a virtual trip over to Europe and marvel. Richard Krueger, former director of a Pentecostal seminary in Germany, has plumbed the Book of Daniel, another rich source of speculation for Apocalypse watchers.

And what did he bring to the surface? America will lose the war; Europe will become the last world power, global peacemaker and protector of Israel. And then, bang, Armageddon.

Willem Oweneel, a Dutch theologian and scientist, agrees with Krueger. In Factum, a Swiss evangelical magazine, he conjectures that the Revelation text about "the beast rising out of the sea" (13:1) can only refer to Europe's unexpected recovery of power.

So now we know what Jacques Chirac and Gerhard Schroeder are all about; they are forging the last empire before Christ's return.

Because times are grim, let's savor some apocalyptical rock from the Internet, courtesy of the antiwar movement. Rhymed a certain William Tong, "He is a rich punk, tryin' to conquer this earth/ He was no genius, since the day of his birth/ Ran away from the Air Force on a fling; went AWOL/ His oil buddies scream: Come on, Iraq, Armageddon!"

Then the refrain: "Iraq Armageddon!/ Armageddon, Armageddon, Armageddon/ Armageddon, Armageddon, Armageddon!/ oil, oil, oil, Armageddon!"

One is stunned by the creativity the prospect of the final battle manages to stir in the virtual world of the Web.

Now, President George W. Bush may have unintentionally contributed to this cacophony of doomsday gobbledygook by speaking of an "axis of evil," thus using seemingly apocalyptical language.

But as William Lazareth, former Lutheran bishop of New York and one of America's leading systematic theologians, reminds us, Bush also made it clear that he was precisely not planning a crusade. In other words, no "holy war" is intended, regardless of what his detractors are saying.

The struggle with Saddam Hussein is a political one, Lazareth insists. It is between human beings. Yet the chattering classes -- both religious and political -- have elevated this to an eschatological struggle between good and evil -- between God and Saddam Hussein.

And that, said Lazareth, "misleads the people of God in a political crisis."

There is of course nothing new in this. Every major conflict and great moment in 2,000 years of church history were cloaked in an apocalyptical mantle, according to Gerald McDermott, an Episcopal priest and professor of religion and philosophy.

Hitler, Stalin, and Mikhail Gorbachev were among the many considered as the Antichrist. Even during the First Great Awakening in the 18th century, Americans were convinced that the world was coming to an end.

But if it was wrong then to use the pages of Revelation as a map for reading history, so it is now. Of course, McDermott allowed, "it is clear from reading the Bible that history is linear, not circular, as Hindus believe. That means that there will be an end."

It can occur tomorrow or in a million years. Don't hold it against a rock lyricist when he babbles goofily about oil and Armageddon. What does he know about the Bible? But that self-described connoisseurs of Scripture should do the same is incomprehensible -- and irresponsible.

The Bible expressly proscribes speculation about the time of Christ's return. Jesus urges his followers to be alert, "for you know neither the day nor the hour" (Matthew 25:13). And the apostles Peter and Paul tell us that the "Day of the Lord" will come "like a thief in the night" (1 Thessalonians 15:2 and 2 Peter 3:10).

As for the Book of Revelation, there is hardly a wiser interpretation than the one given to us by Johannes Richter, a top German theologian and former regional bishop of Leipzig:

"It's a book of comfort, not of menace, for in the end, 'God will wipe away every tear'" (Revelation 21:4).