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Jockstrip: The world as we know it

By ELLEN BECK, United Press International
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THINGS WE DON'T UNDERSTAND

After a $75,000 9-plus carat diamond ring, a $160,000 loan and a $4,045 fur coat from Saks Fifth Avenue, she allegedly dumped him and now Joseph Bisignano wants his money back.

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The jilted groom wanna-be -- a Des Moines, Iowa, stockbrocker -- says he spent more than $330,000 over the past two years to woo Mary Toon, who he believed would be his bride, the Des Moines Register reports. He's filed suit claiming fraud, breach of contract and "unjust enrichment."

The suit claims Toon, 54, knew Bisignano "was developing a warm affection for her and used his affection ... to persuade him to purchase certain items, to purchase certain services for her, and to lend her money."

Toon declined to comment on her relationship with Bisignano, but the Register reported court records indicate she would have lost more than $11,000 a month in alimony from her ex-husband if she and Bisignano had married.

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NEWS OF OTHER LIFE FORMS

Patients fly in, swim in and even waddle down the dock to see if the doctors are in.

At Pelican Harbor Seabird Station in Miami, Harry and Darlene Kelton have devoted 22 years tending to the sick, snagged, ensnared and battered birds of Biscayne Bay, the Miami Herald reports. "Two-thirds of them come in under their own power," Harry Kelton told the paper.

The non-profit center is busiest in winter, when migrating birds add to the local population and show up with all sorts of injuries -- many from encounters with fishing gear.

The Herald notes the birds might be drawn by many things -- the location is a good roosting point, there are other birds there to socialize with, or perhaps it's the aroma of all the free fish food. But then again, it could be they just know where to go for the best healthcare.


TODAY'S SIGN THE WORLD IS ENDING

They're called "beer wenches" and Cricket fans in Sydney, Australia, paid $65 per hour -- per wench -- to have them fetch beer during matches.

The Daily Telegraph in Sydney reports the young women spend the day running back and forth from the bar delivering beer to rowdy men in the stands.

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The women were from the Sex Bomb Promotions agency, and Cricket fan Alistair Flower told the paper they were hired to dress in sexy pants and T-shirts because the guys would be surrounded by British fans and wanted some glamour.

The men deemed having a "beer wench" a Cricket necessity.


AND FINALLY, TODAY'S UPLIFTING STORY

U.S. history curriculum developers at Johns Hopkins have written several teaching guides to accompany "Freedom: A History of U.S."

The TV series is eight hours long and also includes a 16-part educational series debuting this month on PBS affiliates across the nation. The teaching guides can be found online at pbs.org/wnet/historyofus/teachers/guides.html.

Based on Joy Hakim's acclaimed series of books called "A History of U.S.," "Freedom" uses celebrities to bring historical figures to life.

Chevy Chase is Theodore Roosevelt, Morgan Freeman plays Frederick Douglass, Paul Newman is Woodrow Wilson, Tom Hanks is both Paul Revere and Abraham Lincoln, Susan Sarandon plays Susan B. Anthony, and Martin Sheen is John Adams.

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