Assignment America: Stalin is Enron

NEW YORK, Aug. 12 (UPI) -- Soviet dictator Josef Stalin is Enron. Let me explain. (I mean Enron in the generic sense.)

Stalin: Beginning in the 1930s, meetings of the Communist Party Central Committee followed a set format that was planned weeks in advance and could not be altered.

Enron: By the 1990s, most meetings of American corporations followed a set format that was planned weeks in advance and could not be altered.

Stalin: The Central Committee met in a ceremonial room adorned with images of their founder (Lenin) and banners bearing current party slogans.

Enron: Company vice presidents and department heads met in a "conference center" adorned with images of the company's history and banners bearing "goal-oriented" slogans.

Stalin: A presidium presided over the meeting, with one member acting as chairman. The chairman was never Stalin himself but always a trusted lieutenant.

Enron: The meeting could be run by any of several vice presidents, but one usually presided. This person was rarely the company president or chairman, but one of his trusted lieutenants.

Stalin: Central Committee members spoke according to a prescribed order.

Enron: Participants in the corporate meeting spoke according to a prescribed order.

Stalin: A main report was followed by a generally uncritical "discussion" of the report by a series of speakers who spoke in a particular sequence.

Enron: The meeting began with a main report, followed by a generally uncritical discussion by speakers who took the floor in a particular sequence.

Stalin: The speeches tended to be repetitious, using the well-worn phrases of Lenin and Marx.

Enron: The speeches tended to be repetitious, using the well-worn phrases of management and marketing experts.

Stalin: There were interruptions and spontaneous comments, but even when critical, these remarks never challenged the agreed-upon direction of the report. "Correct!" and "Exactly right!" were the most common remarks.

Enron: There were interruptions and spontaneous comments, but even when critical, these remarks never challenged the overall correctness of the company's course. "Excellent report!" and "I agree!" were the most common remarks.

Stalin: If the party had recently failed to meet its goals, members would either make no reference to the failure or else blame someone who had been ousted.

Enron: If the company had recently failed to meet its goals, participants would either make no reference to the failure or else blame someone who had been fired.

Stalin: Usually the ousted person was not named, but referred to as an "enemy."

Enron: Usually the fired person was not named, but was referred to as "past management."

Stalin: When the party failed to meet economic projections, the results would have been altered in advance of the meeting by specialists controlled by Stalin who were retained for that purpose, so that everyone could applaud the continuing success of the party.

Enron: When the company failed to meet economic projections, the results would have been altered in advance of the meeting by specialists retained for that purpose, so that everyone could applaud the continuing success of the company.

Stalin: Sometimes measures had to be passed that enriched Stalin personally, in violation of the communist principle of equality, so they would be legalized in secret and justified at the larger meeting by glorifying Stalin's unique leadership abilities.

Enron: Sometimes measures had to be passed that enriched the chief executive officer personally, in violation of the capitalist principle of corporate responsibility, so they would be agreed upon in "personnel meetings" and justified at the larger meeting by glorifying the CEO's unique leadership abilities.

Stalin: Finally there was a concluding resolution, which would be unanimously adopted, usually without a vote.

Enron: Finally there was a concluding resolution, which was more or less accepted by acclamation.

Perhaps we should call it the Stalron Syndrome.

(John Bloom writes a number of columns for UPI and may be contacted at [email protected] or through his Web site at joebobbriggs.com. Snail mail: P.O. Box 2002, Dallas, Texas 75221.)