Jockstrip: The world as we know it

THINGS WE DON'T UNDERSTAND

Tehran Times reporter Hossein Aghaee has put his spin on the cause and rise of the feminist movement. He writes in the Iranian newspaper's online edition: "Feminism is a result of men's inattention to women and their interests."

Aghaee says patriarchy encourages the tendency toward feminism and that women who have been deprived of their rights tend to retaliate and "begrudgingly hunt the opposite sex in general, regardless of the fact if they are friend or foe..."

The newspaper article says such women want to become the "real boss and are after power. As a matter of fact most feminists are sadists."

The cure, Aghaee says, is to realize feminists are affection oriented and must be inoculated by the "vaccine of love." He says these women have been waging war against men -- a disease of war -- and the cure is an "injection of love."

NEWS OF OTHER LIFE FORMS

A Sarasota man is entering a real underdog in the Sept. 10 Republican congressional primary against Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris as a protest of her role in the 2000 general election dispute.

The write-in candidate's name is Percy and he's a border collie-German shepherd mix of undetermined age. "No one has a realistic expectation that a dog can get elected," said owner Wayne Guentner. "But plenty of people will be willing to vote for a dog to represent their discontent with the political system."

Although the campaign is clearly labeled as a satirical parody, Guentner said 5 percent of the vote would be a victory for Percy.

Harris, Percy and six others are running for an open seat in a safe Republican district in Sarasota County. Harris has raised $1.7 million dollars and analysts in both parties say there is almost no chance she can lose. But still Percy continues to campaign. He has a Web site featuring a profile by campaign member Pam Marwede.

"Although he takes a hard line with social parasites, especially fleas and worms, he has always had a compassion for those less fortunate," the profile says. "Indeed Percy too was once homeless, a disadvantaged runaway."

Harris is playing along with the gag and says his bark is worse than his bite. Campaign spokeswoman Jessica Furst says Percy "has a lot of paws to shake to catch up."

(Thanks to UPI's Les Kjos in Miami)

TODAY'S SIGN THE WORLD IS ENDING

Jim Santoro, 33, of Arizona and Judith Reichel, 24, of Cleveland will be taking out some embarrassing newspaper ads following their conviction on public indecency charges that came out of an incident at Mentor Headlands State Park Beach.

The Cleveland Plain Dealer reports the two were ordered by suburban Painesville Municipal Judge Michael Cicconetti to place a public apology in two local newspapers because people complained --- and called security --- when they saw the couple having oral sex on the beach in June.

The pair said in court they were intoxicated and did not even remember their sandy escapade.

"The people they have to apologize to were from all over the area," Cicconetti told the newspaper. "I felt the ad was the best way to convey their apologies."

AND FINALLY, TODAY'S UPLIFTING STORY

New Zealanders on July 9 will be able to wake up and smell the ... newspaper. That's not a problem for most since this edition of the Otago Daily Times will be chocolate scented.

The stunt is to mark the opening of the Cadbury World visitor center and factory. Cadbury is the maker of

Cadbury chocolates, of course.

Group advertising sales manager Paul Dwyer said in an Otago article: "Some newspapers around the world have already used strongly smelling inks and, at first, we thought we would try chocolate flavored ink. But we thought that was a bit risky as the printing might not be permanent. People might have tried to lick the news off the page."

It was the Cadbury chemists who told them about the chocolate flavored perfume, which they purchased from an

Australian vendor. The newspaper staff designed a simple sprayer that squirts 24,000 times an hour but a plumber will be on hand during the press run, just in case of any clogs.