Subscribe | UPI Odd Newsletter Subscribe SMELL PC A couple of years ago, we were noodling around with the somewhat inside information that so many of the fashionable fragrances we are used to smelling are created from the same vats. Advertisement Consider this: almost everything you smell and every "signature" smell can be concocted from basic elemental smells. Further, the blending is something like when a computer video makes millions of colors from a simple combination of Red, Green, and Blue. The patent smells are from the correct formula and scientifically applied combinations. With this blast of insight, we decided that smell-o-vision could be made for a computer. Small portions of the basics could be combined via some interface command and then would waft into nose-shot of the user. Someone else was on our wavelength. IBM has a patent for an aroma player. It uses pretty much the same sort of delivery mechanism as we described many moons ago. So much for "I told you so" -- and on with the show. Imagine that you have the smell interface hooked up with a dungeon game, or any warring game. You could sample foods, fragrances and add an interesting dimension to the browsing experience. Yikes! What will the porn people do with it? Advertisement A fair amount of the department store's smelly stuff counter is littered with namesake celebrity fragrances. We'll take a shot at that, too. Here's our top-10: 10. Perot: suddenly stops smelling for no reason. 9. Emeril Lagosse: BAM! Whatever it is, it's up a notch. 8. Otis Redding: the bay, what else? 7. Paul Hogan: eucalyptus leaves. 6. Arthur Anderson: something shredded and fishy. 5. Justin Wilson: cayenne "peppah" gar-own-tee. 4. Norm Abrams: sawdust. 3. Barney the Dinosaur: toddler burp. 2. Dave Barry: something expensive ... burnt. 1. Tim Allen: oily rag soaked in pine cleaner and pizza sauce. Send your ideas and comments to [email protected]
