Jockstrip: The World As We Know It

FESTIVUS

The classic "Seinfeld" episode that introduced America to Festivus -- "the holiday for the rest of us" -- will air in syndication on Monday, the same day Ben & Jerry's brings back its own classic Festivus ice cream for a limited run.

Festivus the ice cream -- brown sugar cinnamon ice cream spiced with gingerbread cookie chunks and a swirl of ginger caramel -- made its debut in Fall 2000 as one of Ben & Jerry's Special Batches and response was so phenomenal the company decided to revive it again for the holiday. "It's another Festivus miracle", said Ben & Jerry's Rob Douglas.

In ihe episode, one of the series' most popular and titled "The Strike," George Costanza's cantankerous father Frank gets the Festivus aluminum pole out of the crawlspace (aluminum because "It's got a very high strength to weight ratio"), minus decorations ("I find tinsel distracting"). He then begins the Costanza traditions of performing feats of strength and telling each other all the ways they've disappointed him over the year.

THINGS WE DON'T UNDERSTAND

The imaginative Harry Potter book series has raised controversy in some quarters.

Eliza T. Dresang, an information specialist at Florida State University in Tallahassee, said the American Library Association last year recorded more challenges against the books by J.K. Rowling than any others. She defined a challenge as an official complaint and a request that a book be removed from a library or a classroom.

An Internet article by Berit Kjos -- titled "Harry Potter Lures Kids to Witchcraft with Praise from Christian Leaders" --- lists 12 reasons not to see "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." They include: "God shows us that witchcraft, sorcery, spells, divination and magic are evil. He hates those practices because they blind us to His loving ways, then turn our hearts to a deceptive quest for self-empowerment and deadly thrills."

But Chuck Colson, the reformed "hatchet man" of the Nixon White House who founded Prison Fellowship Ministries in 1976, said the magic in the Potter books is "mechanical" -- not the kind that encourages involvement with evil -- and the plots reinforce the theme that evil is real and must be courageously opposed. The "enormously inventive books" inspire the imagination within a Christian framework, Colson wrote.

NEWS OF OTHER LIFE FORMS

If you've seen "Shrek," you know how nearly perfect the human face can be "drawn" by digital animators; e.g., the would-be-king voiced by John Lithgow.

Well, a Korean movie production house thinks it's now possible to fully replicate a person. In this case, a dead one ... Bruce Lee.

Variety is reporting that the late martial arts star will be "digitally resurrected" to star in Dragon Warrior. Lee's final movie was made nearly 30 years ago. The $50 million kung-fu epic is being funded by a company that recently purchased the rights to Lee's image and voice from his estate, overseen by his wife and daughter.

If the project is successful, it will mark the first time that a dead celebrity is brought back from the grave to do a new film.

Unfortunately, with the short attention span of many movie patrons and the production studio's thirst for money, it will likely be recently departed modern-day stars who will see new life -- not Chaplin, Keaton or Stewart. Come to think of it, that's not a bad thing after all. Where is Elvis when you need him?

(Thanks to UPI Feature Reporter Dennis Daily)

TODAY'S SIGN THE WORLD IS ENDING

There's trouble, right here in Boulder, Colo., and --- with a nod to Meredith Wilson's Broadway show "The Music Man" --- it starts with T and that rhymes with P but it doesn't stand for "pool."

It stands for penises -- 21 ceramic ones to be exact, hanging on a clothesline in the public library.

Librarian Marcelee Gralapp calls it "art." The display, called "Hung Out to Dry," is part of a larger exhibit called "Art Over Domestic Violence." A sign outside the gallery reads: "This exhibit contains mature material that may be objectionable to some."

The display came to public attention after Gralapp refused a library employee's request to hang a 10-by-13 American flag from the glass ceiling of the library's south entrance -- saying the flag made a political statement and that the library should welcome people of all beliefs.

AND FINALLY, TODAY'S UPLIFTING STORY

An Afghanistan woman who secretly operated a beauty parlor in her home for five years --- something strictly forbidden by the Taliban -- is promising Newsweek's Melinda Liu that she'll be "one of the first to open a beauty shop in public."

The woman, named Latifa, wore lipstick and had dyed auburn hair. She secretly styled women's hair and applied makeup -- hidden by the all-enveloping burqa, which covers the face -- and played forbidden music cassettes and videotapes for women who lounged on sofas covered in leopard-print material in her living room, Newsweek reports.

Last week, Latifa was in such high spirits about the Taliban's departure that she washed a female Newsweek correspondent's hair in her primitive bathroom and refused payment. "Our conditions are very poor. This is still a 'Taliban style' beauty salon," she acknowledged. "But in a month or two I'll be one of the first to open a beauty shop in public. I hope you and other Western women will come."