Subscribe | UPI Odd Newsletter Subscribe POTTY HUMOR "There's only so much CNN you can watch. ..." says David Wollock. "These are tense times, and sometimes it's nice to escape into some good, debauched entertainment." Advertisement His answer lies in "Etiquette For Outlaws" (HarperCollins), the best-selling book he and co-author Rob Cohen released last summer. Described as "Emily Post meets Howard Stern," "Etiquette For Outlaws" details the unspoken rules of conduct for drinking, smoking, fornicating, hooking, stripping, gambling and all the other "ings" that make life fun. "With the holidays coming up, we're hoping people get back to some of the festive, trivial pursuits that make our country great -- sex, booze, rock 'n' roll, how to act cool in a biker bar or brothel," says Cohen. "By the way, 'Etiquette For Outlaws' fits nicely in any stocking." Adds Wollock: "Laughter is always a soothing balm for a troubled psyche. Our goal is to get our book on the toilet tanks Americans nationwide. We just want to do our part." Advertisement (Web site: etiquetteforoutlaws.com) SOD-BUSTER MARCHING BAND UPDATE Last week, there was the story of an Ohio high school football festival and the fact that owners of the playing field had asked that several marching bands not strut their stuff, citing safety concerns but also worries about possible damage to the playing surface. After a flood of calls to Cincinnati radio stations saying that the banning of the bands sounded silly, the bands were allowed to march. Now the Cincinnati Bengals and Paul Brown Stadium say their predictions were right -- the center of the field was damaged by the bands. The Cincinnati Enquirer quotes field managers saying the sod will have to be replaced. The company that first laid the sod -- which has in its contract one free re-sodding per season -- tells the publication that its contract with the Bengals may have been violated by the unscheduled event; the team will likely have to foot the bill for new turf. The bill could be in excess of $100,000. (Thanks to UPI Feature Reporter Dennis Daily) OH MY MAMA Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison, R-Texas, has become a mother for the second time in four months. Advertisement The senator and her husband, Ray, recently announced that they had adopted a 3-month-old boy, Houston Taylor. In August, the Hutchisons announced the adoption of Kathryn Bailey Hutchison, who is now seven months old. A spokeswoman for the senator said Houston is named for Hutchison's great-great grandfather, Charles S. Taylor, who was a signer of the Texas Declaration of Independence. "And his good friend was Sam Houston," the first President of the Republic of Texas, said the spokeswoman, Lisette McSoud Mondello. (From UPI's Capital Comment) REASONS TO CELEBRATE TODAY: THURSDAY: The Great American Smoke-out is today. Smokers are urged to kick the habit for at least one day. (Web site: cancer.org) This is America Recycles Day. (Web site: americarecyclesday.org) Today is George Spelvin Day. Ol' George is the name used in a play's program to conceal the fact that an actor is playing more than one part. It was on this date in 1886 in New York City that the fiction was first used -- in Charles A. Gardiner's play "Karl the Peddler." It's Dynasty Day in Belgium, honoring the country's monarchy. This is Republic Day in Brazil. And today Japan celebrates Shichi-Go-San, the annual children's festival. Advertisement (Thanks to Chase's 2001 Calendar of Events) BY THE WAY... Name the tennis player who holds the record for the most titles won. Martina Navratilova, with 167 titles. She announced her retirement on this date in 1994.
