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Scott's World -- UPI Arts & Entertainment

By VERNON SCOTT, UPI Hollywood Reporter
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HOLLYWOOD (UPI) -- Ronnie Schell is one of the most successful "losers" in Tinseltown today by assuming the identity of a failed comic who actually does very well.

Unlike many contemporary stand-ups, Schell has the ability to make people laugh bigtime playing a buffoon when in reality he is anything but the blowhard he would have people believe.

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Usually dressed in the guise of a successful businessman, Schell comes to the microphone in his stand-up act -- the personification of a successful star with the condescending self-confidence of a Jay Leno.

Audiences familiar with Schell already are laughing at his phony facade of headlining superstar with a patronizing, superior attitude.

Inevitably he comes a cropper the moment he opens his mouth and somehow manages to put his foot in it.

This week Schell said, "I'm serving my 14th year as mayor of Encino. Honorary of course; I could never be elected to anything.

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"I have continued to work as an actor and a stand-up comedian. I'm doing a movie this month with Cindy William and Pat Morita.

"The picture is called 'The Biggest Fan.' And I work Vegas twice a year at Harrah's, headlining the improv group. I do many TV guest shots and I make a lot of money doing conventions for big industries all over the world.

"They're ready to laugh because I go into those dull recognition events where it's all business and do business-related comedy."

Schell has made an art of self-deprecation, building an underdog persona as one of the world's most engaging losers, not unlike Jack Benny's stingy, bungling aura.

Or Fred Allen's nasal, complainer whining about his misfortunes.

Schell was initiated in television when, as a student at San Francisco State Collage, he appeared as a contestant on "You Bet Your Life" with the predatory Groucho Marx.

"I was working the Purple Onion club with Phyllis Diller at the time. On Groucho's show I won $600 and even guessed the secret word.

"I got along with Groucho; I didn't challenge him. He was very nice to me. Now there was a comedian with a truly impressive persona.

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"The trouble with most young comedians today is they have no persona. They deliver great material but not a recognizable identity that makes people laugh the minute they walk on stage.

"We old-timers developed a persona but we don't get the exposure young guys do on TV these days.

"When Benny walked on stage people were already laughing. Stand-ups today have to start telling jokes.

"I've never been a huge star, but I've kept busy. I like to say, 'It's mighty lonely in the middle.'

"I tell audiences I'm doing so well I now have homes on both coasts, one in Tijuana and one in Newark.

"When I walk on stage Ronnie Schell comes on like a headliner at the Palace and then destroys it when I say, 'It's a great privilege to be working ...' Then silence. I stop.

"I also say, 'I've been asked not to do any old material and to use new stuff ... so in conclusion ...'

"That gets me started on that whole thing of self-deprecation. But as with all good comedy, it's partially true.

"I haven't had the breaks the big stars have, so I use some of that stuff. Almost everyone I worked with in the beginning has moved up ahead of me.

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"I was billed above Goldie Hawn in the old 'Good Morning, World' show and told her she'd never make it unless she followed my example.

"Three years later she won the Oscar for 'Cactus Flower' while I bombed out working some toilet in Nebraska. That's all true.

"I was on 'Gomer Pyle' the first three years and left the fourth year to do 'Good Morning, World.'

"I like to tell people at the end of the third year playing Duke on 'Gomer Pyle' I told Jim Nabors, 'It's time for me to branch out and be a star on my own. Okay? I don't need you any more.'

"The fourth year I starred in my very own TV series, 'Good Morning, World.' But a year later I was Duke on the 'Gomer Pyle' show" again.'

"Now I do a lot of commercials, many of them voice-overs. You don't see familiar faces doing commercials anymore. There's a big trend toward hiring people you've never seen before and probably will never see again.

"I did Dodge commercials for years, but now they say they want a new face. That's all right with me; I've saved my money.

"They won't have to hold any benefits for me; I've got my first dollar."

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Now there's a winner.

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