Feb. 2 (UPI) -- Saturday Night Live satirized the U.S. Senate hearings for the impeachment of President Donald Trump in this weekend's cold open.
The 9-minute sketch was touted as the "trial you wish happened" and featured Alec Baldwin as Trump, Kenan Thompson as TV jurist Judge Greg Mathis, Kate McKinnon as Sen. Lindsey Graham and Kyle Mooney as the fictional Brooklyn attorney Joe Pesci played in the comedy film, My Cousin Vinny.
"We are calling witnesses because that is how a damn trial works," Mathis said, bringing in John Bolton -- played by Cecily Strong -- to testify.
"The things I saw President Trump do and say made me deeply worried about the future of democracy," Bolton said.
Asked why he is only coming forward now, the former National Security Adviser replied, "Because I am a messy bitch who loves drama."
Bolton then said his tell-all book was available for pre-order on Amazon.
Presidential candidate Joe Biden's son Hunter was called as the next witness.
Pete Davidson, pretending to be the younger Biden, rode into the courtroom on a hover-board and vaping.
"My schedule was wide open!" Biden declared.
"The president is just kind of pointing at me to distract from his own crimes," adding his current job is on a "Brazilian money-laundering company called Nepotismo."
Trump arrived using a walker, insisting he is a "very sick, old man."
"How could I withhold aid from Ukraine? I can barely get around the house," he said.
"Are you trying to Weinstein me?" Mathis wanted to know.
"In which sense? Because Harvey and I overlap in a few areas," Trump responded.
Invited to give a closing statement, Trump said, "What I've learned from this trial is that clearly nothing I do or say has any consequence, so I'd like to come clean about everything."
He then admitted to butt-dialing Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, cheating on everything from taxes to golf to wives, and secretly loving CNN.
Mathis found Trump guilty on all charges, fined him $10,000 and ordered him to say one nice thing about House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.
"Fine. Her body's an 8," Trump said.