Letterman reads 'bin Laden' Top 10 list

May 3, 2011 at 12:48 PM
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NEW YORK, May 3 (UPI) -- David Letterman read a Top 10 list of the Final Words of Osama bin Laden on "Late Show" in New York Monday night.

President Barack Obama announced in a live television address Sunday that U.S. military forces had killed the terrorist leader in Pakistan.

Late-night talk-show hosts used the news as fodder for their monologues Monday.

"Colbert Report" host Stephen Colbert finally got to throw the "We Got bin Laden" party he had been planning since 2002, while George Lopez's "Lopez Tonight" featured a comic skit showing bin Laden watching the British royal wedding on television. Craig Ferguson declared, "It's a great day for America," then lamented there were no more original bin Laden jokes to tell since his "Late Late Show" came on after most other shows had ended.

Letterman's Top 10 list of the Final Words of Osama Bin Laden went as follows --

10. "My horoscope says 'big surprises are in store.'"

9. "See, this is why I normally don't answer the door."

8. "The one time I give my bodyguards a day off to go to the zoo..."

7. "What on earth could be interrupting 'Celebrity Apprentice'?"

6. "I hear Brian Williams is on Dave to discuss my imminent demise."

5. "At least I'll be reunited with my dear departed friend Jack LaLanne."

4. "I'm not sure I want to live in a world where 'Fast Five' is the No. 1 movie."

3. "Any man with multiple wives welcomes death, am I right, fellas?"

2. "I need a house full of Navy SEALs like I need a hole in the head."

1. "Oh, crap!"

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