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July 15 (UPI) -- Chrissy Teigen says she feels "lost" and depressed after being "canceled" over her bullying scandal. The 35-year-old model and television personality discussed her mental health in an Instagram post Wednesday after facing criticism for her past tweets about television personality Courtney Stodden.
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Teigen was accused of cyberbullying after her remarks about Stodden resurfaced in May. Teigen publicly apologized at the time, saying, "I'm mortified and sad at who I used to be. I was an insecure, attention seeking troll."
In her post Wednesday, Teigen said she is struggling as she takes time away from public life and communication with fans.
"Going outside sucks and doesn't feel right, being at home alone with my mind makes my depressed head race. But I do know that however I'm handling this now isn't the right answer," the star said. "I feel lost and need to find my place again, I need to snap out of this."
"I desperately wanna communicate with you guys instead of pretending everything is okay," she added. "I'm not used to any other way!!"
Teigen said she has learned "a wholllllle lot" since joining the "cancel club."
"Only a few understand it and it's impossible to know til you're in it. And it's hard to talk about it in that sense because obviously you sound whiney when you've clearly done something wrong," the model said. "It just sucks. There is no winning. But there never is here anyhow."
"All I know is I love you guys, I miss you guys, and I just needed an honest moment with you because I'm just...tired of being sick with myself all day," she added. "I don't even know if it's good to say any of this because it's gonna get brutally picked apart but I dunno."
Teigen stepped away from a guest voice role in the Netflix series Never Have I Ever in June amid the scandal. News broke Thursday that Teigen was replaced by model Gigi Hadid as Paxton's (Darren Barnet) narrator on the show.
