Oct. 28, 2020 / 10:45 AM

Chrissy Teigen 'grateful and healing' after pregnancy loss

Chrissy Teigen (L) reflected and thanked fans in a new essay after losing her third child with John Legend. File Photo by Christine Chew/UPI | License Photo

Oct. 28 (UPI) -- Chrissy Teigen says she's "grateful and healing" after experiencing a pregnancy loss in September.

The 34-year-old model and television personality reflected and thanked fans for their support in an essay for Medium published Tuesday.

Teigen experienced a pregnancy loss while expecting her third child, a boy, with her husband, singer John Legend. The couple named the boy Jack.

In her essay, Teigen voiced her gratitude for the outpouring of support from family, friends and fans.

"For weeks, our floors have been covered in flowers of kindness. Notes have flooded in and have each been read with our own teary eyes," she said. "I thank you for each and every one of those."

Teigen was diagnosed with partial placenta abruption a few months into her pregnancy and spent over a month on bedrest. She experienced light but steady bleeding for weeks before having "a pretty bad night" with heavy bleeding.

"After a couple nights at the hospital, my doctor told me exactly what I knew was coming -- it was time to say goodbye," Teigen recalled. "He just wouldn't survive this, and if it went on any longer, I might not either."

"Late one night, I was told it would be time to let go in the morning. I cried a little at first, then went into full blown convulsions of snot and tears, my breath not able to catch up with my own incredibly deep sadness."

Teigen had an epidural and was induced to deliver her 20 week old. She defended her decision to have Legend and her mom take photos during the experience, some of which she later shared on social media.

"I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos. How little I care that it's something you wouldn't have done," Teigen wrote.

"I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren't for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like," she said. "These photos are only for the people who need them."

Teigen said the experience created a hole in her heart but said she feels full with "the love of something I loved so much." She also is "bursting" with love for her daughter, Luna, 4, and son, Miles, 2.

On Instagram, Teigen thanked "everyone who has been so kind."

"I am surrounded, in a human therapy blanket of love. I am grateful and healing and feel so incredibly lucky to witness such love," she said.

Moments from Chrissy Teigen's career

John Legend (L) and then girlfriend Chrissy Teigen watch the New York Knicks play the Sacramento Kings in New York City on January 2, 2008. The couple had gotten together in 2007 and married in 2013. Photo by John Angelillo/UPI | License Photo