Ariana Grande reflects on 'conflicting' year in Woman of the Year speech

Dec. 7 (UPI) -- Ariana Grande spoke about the ups and downs of her personal and professional life in her Billboard Woman of the Year speech.

The 25-year-old singer shared an emotional message while accepting the honor at the 2018 Billboard Women in Music event Thursday in New York.

"I find it interesting that this has been one of the best years of my career and the worst of my life," Grande told the audience.

"A lot of people would look at someone in my position right now ... an artist that could be at her peak and think, 'She's really got her [expletive] together, she's really on it. She's got it all.' And I do, but as far as my personal life goes, I really have no idea what the [expletive] I'm doing,'" she said.

The "Thank U, Next" singer teared up as she encouraged her fans to keep looking to the future. She said she's focused on self-love as she welcomes 2019.

"I just want to say if you're someone out there who has no idea what this next chapter is going to bring, you're not alone in that," the star said. "I'm really looking forward to embracing whatever happens and whatever comes my way."

"I look forward to hopefully learning to give some of the love and forgiveness that I've given away so frivolously and easily to men in the past to myself, hopefully, this year," she added. "I have everything I've ever dreamt of having, and as of late I've discovered that it's the things I've always had and the people I've always had that still make me the happiest."

Grande is celebrating the success of her album Sweetener, which debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 in August. She followed up with the single "Thank U, Next" in November, and plans to release an album of the same name.

In her personal life, Grande split from her fiancé, actor and comedian Pete Davidson, in October after getting engaged to the Saturday Night Live star in June. Her ex-boyfriend Mac Miller died of an accidental drug overdose at age 26 in September.

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