Humor: Yes, Virginia, there is an energy crisis!


WASHINGTON, Nov. 28, 1973 (UPI) - Here's another letter from that suspicious little brat named Virginia who is always pestering newspapermen with dubious questions.

"Dear Sir: Some of my little friends say there is no energy crisis. They say it's just some big companies trying to take advantage of temporary fuel disruptions to jack up prices and circumvent anti-pollution regulations.


"Papa says if I see it in your column it must be so.

"Please tell the truth: Is there an energy crisis?

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of the Watergate era. They do not believe except what they hear in Judge Sirica's courtroom. They think nothing can be which is not recorded on White House tapes.

Yes, Virginia, there is an energy crisis. It exists as certainly as inflation and smog and illegal campaign contributions exist.

Not believe in the energy crisis! You might as well not believe in truce violations, railroad bankruptcy and high interest rates!

The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see the gnomes of Zurich undermining the U.S. dollar in European currency markets?

Of course not, but that's no proof that international monetary crises don't happen. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the crises that are unseen or unseeable in the world.

The reason your little friends don't believe in the energy crisis is because they themselves are believers in the credibility crisis.

Why should one crisis be more real to them than another crisis? Was the recent Middle East crisis any less real than the earlier Cuban missile crisis or the current constitutional crisis?

No, Virginia, all are real. Faith makes them so. Deep and abiding faith in the principle that if anything can go wrong it will.

Not believing in the energy crisis is like not believing in post office foulups or the population explosion.

It is as authentic as street crime and dental bills, as veritable as slums, Soviet grain deals, dairy price support increases, welfare abuse and wiretapping.

It is as bona fide as tax deductions for vice presidential papers, Secret Service improvements on presidential property, the oil depletion allowance.

Alas! How dreary would be the world if there were no crises. As dreary as if there were no grand juries.

No energy crisis! A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years, thermostats will still be set at 68 degrees.

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