The former child star, who went from Little House on the Prairie to actually living in a little (restored Victorian) house on the prairie (well, in Michigan), paid a visit to Andy Cohen's Watch What Happens Live Wednesday and talked about the Hollywood of the 1970s and 80s.
She called Scott Baio a "6 or 7" on the "[expletive] scale," and said former costar Melissa Sue Anderson was "hateful, horrid, mean, terrible, mean, difficult -- she hated me. She knocked me off the wagon when I was nine."
She said she wouldn't bother saying anything to Shannen Doherty, who had a one-night stand with Gilbert's first husband, Bo Brinkman. Instead, if she saw her on the street, Gilbert said she "would just punch her in the nose."
Gilbert confirmed that she did indeed date Tom Cruise -- back before he was famous.
"When I dated him, he was Tom Mapother still," she recalled. "He had just moved to Los Angeles."
"I did not have sex with him," she said. "We made out, but honestly, there was no sex.He was a struggling actor and I was working, I actually bought him his first set of dishes."
And she revealed a particular sensitivity of her one-time fiancé, Rob Lowe.
"He asked me to take out the word 'pretty' when I referred to him," she said, of her 2010 book, Prairie Tale. "That was it. ... 'Just could you do one thing? Could you take out the word "pretty"? I hate it when people call me pretty.'"
Gilbert's children's book, Daisy and Josephine was released Tuesday.