According to an Albuquerque police report, VanBlarcom, 61, was struck and killed by a car when he was walking near his apartment in early October.
But authorities never contacted his family, even after his wife, Jan, reported him missing.
The VanBlarcoms only found out about Jay’s death after his daughter read about it online. Police blame the mixup on Jay having an out-of-state driver’s license, but his family isn't buying that excuse.
“I want to know why you could run somebody's name in the media and not bother to tell me,” Jan said. “They've all passed the buck. One step at a time, because I want to talk to him. I want to know that his last day was full of love.”
"I didn't get to say goodbye," she said. "I didn't get to do anything, I said goodbye to him, but it wouldn't have been my last goodbye, I would have hugged him, I would have kissed him, done something different."
Police say it was an accident and the driver has not been cited.