He was ridiculous. He was attractive. He was a world-class swimmer.
And now, you can get a piece of all that awesome.
Found in the "For her" section of Charitybuzz, an auction offering a one-hour swimming lesson and a lunch with Olympic gold medalist and king of "Jeah!" himself.
As of Friday morning, with four days left to bid, the auction price stands at $9,500 (a steal considering its estimated value of $20,000!), with the proceeds heading to the CFDA and Vogue's Fashion for Sandy Relief Initiative.
"He is considered by many to be the best swimmer in the world, praised for being well-rounded with both his short course ability and amazing talent for travelling incredible distances while kicking underwater," the item promises. "As a winner with style, Ryan has been featured on magazine covers, in commercials and on television...Jeah!"
The best part, undeniably, comes in the form of a caution to anyone hoping a winning bid will get them a little too close to comfort to Lochte's star spangled Speedo:
We expect all winning bidders and their guests to conduct themselves appropriately when attending an experience won at Charitybuzz. Polite manners and respect for the generous donor and adherence to any rules or parameters are a must. Winning bidder and guest(s) subject to security screening.
Hands off, ladies.