David Petraeus' 'Love Pentagon': The Movie

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David Petraeus and company have done us the favor of crafting a complicated "Love Pentagon" so absurd, we're due for a overwrought made-for-TV movie at any moment (Get on this, Lifetime).

The Daily has already assembled a mock movie trailer, in which the Petraeus affair becomes a James Bond-like yarn of intrigue, adventure and exploding cars. Daniel Craig's rugged countenance makes him the obvious choice for Petraeus, while Hilary Swank co-stars as the "West Point beauty" who ensnares him. Angelina Jolie, Steve Buscemi and Matthew McConaughey play Jill Kelley, Gen. John R. Allen and that shirtless FBI agent, respectively.

But Comedy Central's politically-minded Twitter feed has another suggestion for the coveted role of the mysterious FBI-agent-sans-shirt.

[Hypervocal]