Perhaps 22-year-old Jeremiah Haughee found Eugene to be an inspirational figure.
That's our best guess for why he was climbed naked onto the roof of a St. Augustine, Fla., home, bit a cop and the homeowner, and urinated all over himself and the home's front porch.
According to the Florida Times-Union, police responded to a call from the homeowner at 4:30 Saturday morning, complaining that Haughee was destroying their lawn furniture and had jumped off their roof onto the hood of their truck.
The police report said Haughee tackled the two men who came out of their house, looking for the cause of the racket, biting one of them in the stomach as they tried to hold him down for the cops.
"It took five officers with two sets of handcuffs, leg shackles, a spit-prevention hood and Taser strikes to control Haughee," the Times-Union reports. "Three officers were kicked, hit or bitten during the arrest. Haughee was taken to Flagler Hospital and anesthetized to calm him down, then jailed."
The police had no answer for what caused Jeremiah Haughee to go nuts (he was released Sunday on bail).
Maybe the CDC has it wrong after all.