In June, the Washington Post reported that Rick Perry has stopped wearing cowboy boots because they aggravate his back. Patterson, who finished in fourth place in Texas' Republican primary for lieutenant governor, wrote to the Austin American Statesmen to complain about Perry's choice in footwear, calling back pain a "feeble excuse."
"Tell Rick that boots can be purchased with normal heels," Patterson says.
"I lament the fact that our governor could now pass for a West Coast metrosexual and has embarrassed us all with his sartorial change of direction."
Patterson isn't just a fan of boots for cultural reasons, he also appreciates the luxury of only owning white socks. "No more 'is this sock blue or black?' as you fumble in the early AM," Patterson opines.
"In fact, with nothing but white socks (preferably same brand and purchased at once so they age similarly), you don't even need to fold them -- just throw them in the drawer."
2014: The Year in Music [PHOTOS]