Recession Diary: DIY wedding way to go

(Editor's note: Unlike past recessions, the current downturn has taken a significant toll on sectors of the economy virtually unscathed by earlier economic crises. This is the ninth in a series on one family's struggle.)

SKOKIE, Ill., July 20 (UPI) -- I've attended many a formal wedding but think the communal route we took for my daughter's wedding is the way to go.

The efforts of so many people made the celebration unbelievably joyous, electric and rollicking. The love in the room was palpable.

With the exception of the officiating rabbi and my close friend's string quartet at the ceremony, the wedding was completely non-professional. If all weddings were like this, the outrageously costly industrial wedding machine would come to a screeching halt.

The groom's older brother created simple, elegant centerpieces and the bouquets. Guided by fabric scraps and beads from the bridal gown, he selected roses in delicate, complementary colors, and incorporated ivy from the plant that was started from my bridal bouquet 27 years ago.

His younger brother's jazz band learned klezmer and Jewish folk music for the occasion. The room reeled with horas and other Israeli dances. The music had a dreamy, jazzy, throbbing passion that could only have been born of the musicians' love for the bride and groom.

Although we had a cocktail hour with homemade hors d'oeuvres, by the time we finished dancing, everyone had worked up an appetite for the luncheon. The buffet was replete with dishes we selected from our own repertoire and assigned to friends eager to cook for the occasion. Others brought appetizers, drinks and desserts. Our next-door neighbors lovingly designed, baked, decorated, delivered, and -- on site -- put the finishing touches on a perfect wedding cake.

My younger daughter styled her sister's hair, and we hired her friends as photographer and videographer. Their qualifications: We like them a lot. But even my son-in-law, who shuns the spotlight, approved of their work: They were unobtrusive, and I believe we were more thrilled with their enthusiasm and work product than we ever could have been with professionals.

The groom's father, a professional musician, wrote a clever conversation between the bride and groom set to the tune of "Lyda Rose" from "The Music Man." All the men in the two immediate families harmonized in the barbershop rendition of the groom's voice, while the groom's mother, the bride's younger sister and I sang the bride's voice counterpoint.

The groom's father prepared a second piece based on piano music the newlyweds had practiced recently for their own entertainment. Little did they know they'd be asked to perform it at their own wedding, and as they sat down to play, they were astonished to be joined by a full choir and small orchestra. They were asked to juggle -- and did.

There are secret ingredients for this kind of wedding: a mature couple who care only to please all four parents, genuine friendship and cooperation between families, creative ideas, friends who continually ask what more they can do to help.

I hope my friends' children will have similar weddings so their families can experience the same delight, and so I can help and give my heart by offering to do more.