Grandmother is such a bad criminal that bank teller asks if she's 'actually committing a robbery'

A Michigan grandmother who somehow managed to rob a Bank of America in Grand Rapids has been given three-and-a-half years in federal prison after her son turned her in for the crime.

According to her attorney, Richard Stroba, 53-year-old Dee Ann Sanders never really stood a chance.

“Her efforts were so amateurish and bungled ... that the teller had to inquire as to whether Ms. Sanders was actually committing a robbery,” Stroba wrote in a sentencing memorandum in U.S. District Court in Grand Rapids.

“Ms. Sanders knows what she did is wrong,” Stroba wrote. “Her demand note even apologized to the teller: ‘I need $2500 for my bills + grandkids. Keep hands on counter. Sorry + thank you,’ it reads.”

Sanders, who has had substance abuse issues in the past, has to pay $347 in restitution on the unrecovered portion of the $1,092 she stole, in addition to $750 in fines.

“She has been forthcoming about her actions and the need for change in her life if she is going to return to society clean, sober, and poised for success in re-entry,” Stroba wrote.

“Regarding deterrence, Ms. Sanders is a grandmother. She is, by her own admission, too old for this behavior.”

After the robbery, Sanders gave her son $300 in rent money and then drove around for a while before purchasing crack cocaine.

Her son later called police and they arrested Sanders at his Byron Township home.

[MLive]