The morning it started, Daniel Clavin woke up with a hangover and got the hiccups. He has now made the "hic" sound nearly ever seven seconds since the morning after a party in July 2012.
The hiccuping keeps him up all night, and he sometimes has to sleep in the spare room to keep from shaking the entire bed and waking his wife Susan.
Clavin has undergone endoscopies, CAT scans and chiropractor visits. He has tried tranquilizers and diet changes. Nothing seems to help, though, and doctors have yet to find a cure.
He has also tried every old wives' tale in the book, from being scared, eating spoonfuls of sugar and drinking through a straw, to no avail.
"They've taken over my life," Clavin said. "I have no idea why they started. I'd had more to drink than I had for some time, but it was nothing out of the ordinary, just the usual mix of beer and spirits."
Based on the hiccups' frequency, Clavin estimates he has hiccuped more than 5.25 million times since the hiccups started.
"There are times when I can't breathe for 30 seconds because they lock up my diaphragm."
He is now waiting on an MRI to find out whether the condition is related to a brain tumor.
"We are desperate because the hiccups are ruining our lives," his wife said.