The Republican letter, addressed to House Speaker John Boehner, was drafted to rebuke the Senate's comprehensive immigration reform bill, and was making the rounds on Capitol Hill seeking co-signers.
Takano posted the letter, with his red-line edits, to his Tumblr, There Will Be Charts. The drafters, who are firmly in the Oxford comma camp, are apparently too reliant on the Rule of Three and use "redundant, paired adjectives."
A "strong thesis" is immediately followed by a fundamental contradiction, and no fewer than four requests for evidence of assertions. The letter also contained hyperbole, accusations and falsehoods, according to Takano's red pen.
Takano gave the letter an "F" and said it needs revision, but like any good teacher, wrote, "If you don't understand the bill - come by my office and I'll explain it."