13 examples of what not take to TSA airport security screening

Nearly 2 million passengers pass through TSA airport security checkpoints every day. Some of them are packing an incredible assortment of deadly, dead or living but banned carry-on items.

TSA screened more than 432 million checked bags, 1.6 billion carry-on bags and 12.9 million airport employees in 2015, intercepting an average of 7 firearms daily at 236 airports. A record 2,653 guns were found in carry-on bags – 83 percent of them loaded.

Then there were the knives, batarangs, hand grenades, artillery shells, human remains, hidden live animals, Klingon bat'leths, or wedding favors labeled "TNT" and designed to look like explosives. Plus the unknown – stuff TSA does not catch. They miss a lot, apparently (see below).

Here are 13 of the craziest TSA security checkpoint seizures we found:

1. Dressed to kill:

Shoes and bracelets that resemble guns 'n' ammo are less than ideal for a TSA checkpoint. These delayed a traveler at BWI (Baltimore), but she chose to part with them rather than miss her flight.

Photo by @TSAmedia_LisaF/Twitter

2. True, you never know when someone will turn into a walker ...

but leave your zombie apocalypse go-bag at home. Confiscated from a single carry-on bag at BWI: three rope cutters, a hatchet, two smoke grenades, 12 fireworks, one saw and four knives.

Photo by @TSAmedia_LisaF/Twitter

3. It's always a good idea to double-check your carry-on enchiladas ...

in case you accidentally left your 8.5" knife there (Sonoma County Airport).

Photo by @TSA/Instagram

4. Just a pinch between your cheek and gum?

A passenger flying out of Yuma International Airport was arrested for this one. That's a half ounce of C4 explosive concealed in a smokeless tobacco can in a checked bag.

Photo by @TSA/Instagram

5. A bird in the hand is better than two in your pantsuit.

A pat-down of a passenger with bulky clothing at Los Angeles International Airport turned up a pair of birds wrapped in socks and taped to the leg and chest of a woman planning to fly them to China.

Photo by @TSA/Instagram

6. Check it before you wreck it:

This mallet was discovered in a traveler's carry-on bag at the Burlington International Airport. Sledgehammers and mallets are considered bludgeons and thus prohibited as carry-ons. Unless you're Thor, in which case you can take Mjolnir wherever you wish.

Photo by @TSA/Instagram

7. Avoid a hairy situation:

This brush dagger was discovered in a carry-on at SFO (San Francisco International Airport). Brush daggers are self-defense weapons that double as functional hair styling tools, though this one looks like it was used for hair removal.

Photo by @TSA/Instagram

8. Have gun, won't travel:

Tossing a firearm in a backpack won't fly with TSA. Pack it properly in a checked bag, then declare it.

Photo by @TSAmedia_LisaF/Twitter

9. "That's not a knife."

This little folding knife was found wrapped in a computer power cord at Ketchikan International Airport in Alaska. All carry-on bags should be completely knife-free.

Photo by @TSA/Instagram

10. This was hard to ignore ...

at Indianapolis International Airport: 30 electric matches, a bag of potassium chlorate, a bag of titanium powder, and a suicide vest. The owner was an explosives instructor traveling with his training aids.

Photo by @TSA/Instagram

11. It was a good day to fly ...

but not with this weapon resembling a Klingon bat'leth found in a carry-on at Luis Muñoz Marín International Airport in San Juan, Puerto Rico.

Photo by @TSA/Instagram

12. All-Star holster by Chuck Taylor:

This loaded 9mm footwear was found in a carry-on bag at Grand Junction Regional Airport (GJT).

Photo by @TSA/Instagram

13. I had no idea ...

A hacksawed human skull was found in two clay pots in luggage at Fort Lauderdale International Airport in 2013. The find slowed down the screening process as the checkpoint became a crime scene. The passengers said they purchased the pots from a shopkeeper in Cuba who said they would ward off evil spirits. They said they didn't know human remains were inside. Anthropologists described the find as "run of the mill" and common among practitioners of Palo Mayombe, a Congolese religion that traveled with Africans to the Caribbean and Cuba hundreds of years ago.

Photo by @TSA/Instagram

TSA stopped all that, but what's getting through?

A recent internal Transportation Security Administration investigation revealed undercover agents were able to sneak fake weapons through airport security 95 percent of the time.

"The numbers in these reports never look good out of context, but they are a critical element in the continual evolution of our aviation security," Homeland Security Secretary Jeh C. Johnson said in a statement.

The findings led to the reassignment of Melvin Carraway, acting head of the Transportation Security Agency, to another post within DHS. U.S. Coast Guard Vice Adm. Pete Neffenger took over on July 6, 2015.

To end on a high note, here's a TSA video with a jaunty soundtrack that explains how to pack your gun properly for flight: