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Portland woman credits note with stolen car's safe return

By Ben Hooper Contact the Author   |   Jan. 29, 2016 at 11:33 AM

PORTLAND, Ore., Jan. 29 (UPI) -- An Oregon woman who tired of her car being stolen and impounded credited a note she left in the vehicle for the Honda's safe return.

The woman, posting on Reddit as mfiasco, shared images of the letter and the note that she credited with helping to have her stolen car returned safely and without hefty impound fees.

"I left a snarky note in the glovebox of my Honda the last time it was stolen. Just recovered the car from the most recent theft. They read my letter and I think it worked; they ditched it in front of a house this time (YAY)," the woman wrote.

She said the car has been stolen multiple times during the past few years and each incident ended with the car being abandoned, towed and impounded.

The woman's note reads:

"Hello!

If you're reading this, you are probably stealing my car. I'm a nice person and likely would have given you a ride, but obviously we're past that.

I would love to afford a car that doesn't get stolen and burglarized all the time, but I'm broke and this is what I'm stuck with. So, you got me. Again.

You're not going to get into trouble for stealing my car. As long as you don't [expletive] around and kill a pedestrian, you'll just leave this somewhere and go about your business. Nobody investigates this tomfoolery.

One quick favor: please do not leave my car somewhere it will get towed. If I have to deal with one more [expletive] impound lot holding my stolen [expletive] Honda for ransom, I am going to lose my mind. And my car, because I can't afford to keep bailing it out of car jail. If I had any money I would just go buy a [expletive] car that wasn't constantly getting stolen in the first place.

Please just leave my old piece of [expletive] car in a neighborhood or something. There's a note in this envelope; just stick it on the dash or under the wiper. A passerby will see it eventually and call me and then I can come get my car. No cops, no questions asked; I'm not even mad at you.

It's win-win: I don't have to deal with police reports, insurance claims and tow trucks and you don't have to feel like a jerk for ruining the month of a nice person.

There are countless safe places to leave this thing. Drive the car, take my first aid kit and emergency supplies in the trunk (my stereo is worthless) and just leave this mother[expletive] in front of someone's house when you're done with it.

Thank you. Enjoy your ride.

PS if you don't mind committing another misdemeanor tonight, feel free to go throw a brick through the window of [blanked out] Towing in Vancouver. They are literally the [expletive] worst. Thanks. Have a good night."

The Redditor shared a screenshot of an early draft of the note she shared on Facebook in 2013.

She said the theft wasn't a complete waste of her time.

"They left a jacket in the car, which is my style and looks like it'll fit me. They also stole my registration so they know where I live. Maybe they'll stop by for a beer," the Honda owner wrote.

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