The London Fire Brigade said the top 10 bizarre 999 calls include a woman reporting a spider on her pillow, an elderly woman who accidentally threw her dentures at a pair of fighting dogs when she tossed a glass of water at them and a father who called to report his son's shoe was on the garage roof and it was an emergency because the boy needed the shoe to play soccer.
The calls also included a woman complaining of a squirrel in her kitchen, a woman whose cellphone fell into her toilet, a woman who spotted a fox with "an odd look on its face" in her garden and an au pair who was unable to close a window and didn't want to upset her host family.
The brigade said a man called for help changing a tire, a woman called for help freeing her husband from a titanium chastity belt and a woman called to complain of a bat in her kitchen.
Officials said they are hoping to stem the tide of non-emergency 999 calls.
"Our advice is simple -- if it's not an emergency, don't ring 999," Third Officer Dave Brown said. "If you're calling because you have a serious phobia, then arrange for a housemate, friend, or neighbor to help you. If you're calling because there's an unexpected animal in your home, call the RSPCA. Firefighters are here for Londoners but we can't be on speed dial when something trivial happens."