Humorous obituary goes viral
LONG BEACH, Miss., March 13 (UPI) -- A Mississippi man's obituary, written by his daughter, has gone viral online for its unusual content and good-natured humor.
"Harry Weathersby Stamps, ladies' man, foodie, natty dresser, and accomplished traveler, died on Saturday, March 9, 2013," began the obituary in Monday's Sun Herald, Gulfport, Miss.
The obituary for the Long Beach man, who died at age 80 after years as a dialysis patient, was written by his daughter, Amanda Lewis.
"He despised phonies, his 1969 Volvo [which he also loved], know-it-all Yankees, Southerners who used the words 'veranda' and 'porte cochere' to put on airs, eating grape leaves, Law and Order [all franchises], cats, and Martha Stewart. In reverse order. He particularly hated Daylight Saving Time, which he referred to as 'The Devil's Time.' It is not lost on his family that he died the very day that he would have had to spring his clock forward. This can only be viewed as his final protest," the obituary read.
Lewis said she was pleased with the reception the obituary has received online.
"Probably the best compliment I've gotten is that at least six people asked if he wrote it," she said.
"The family asks that in honor of Harry that you write your Congressman and ask for the repeal of Daylight Saving Time. Harry wanted everyone to get back on the Lord's Time," the obituary concluded.
School bans punishment T-shirts
FORT MORGAN, Colo., March 13 (UPI) -- A Colorado woman said her children's school is overstepping its bounds by refusing to allow her children to wear their punishment T-shirts to class.
Jessica Rocha said her 8-year-old daughter, Aurora, liked to steal from Walmart, her mother and other people's homes, so she sent her to school at Green Acres Elementary in Fort Morgan wearing a homemade T-shirt reading, "I steal. Steal means taking property belonging to someone else without permission," KUSA-TV, Denver, reported Wednesday.
"I steal. Please watch me," the back of the shirt read.
Rocha said she was planning to make her 9-year-old son, Xavier, wear a similar shirt describing him as a "bully," but she discovered the principal at the school had made Aurora cover up the shirt and district officials told her the punishment shirts would not be allowed.
"I respect her right to do what's best for her family," said Ron Echols, superintendent of Fort Morgan Schools. "But, I wish she would leave the school out of it. We cannot support something that is demeaning to the kids."
However, Rocha said the school is overstepping by barring her punishment.
"I don't think a T-shirt is harming my child at all," Rocha said.
"We are trying to parent at home, so they don't end up in foster care. So, they don't end up in jail. So, they don't end up in prison later on," Rocha said. "I am trying to be proactive in their school life as well as their home life."
Robber gets only candy from bank
NEW YORK, March 13 (UPI) -- Police in New York said an attempted bank robber got away with just a handful of lollipops after a teller refused to submit to his demand for cash.
Investigators said the suspect walked into the Chase branch in the Garment District around 10 a.m. Friday and handed a note to a teller reading: "I have a bomb. Give me some money now"
Teller Melinda Lewis told the man she doesn't read notes and instructed him to fill out a withdrawal slip, the New York Post reported Wednesday.
The man wrote the same note on the slip and Lewis instructed him to swipe his bank card while telling a colleague in Spanish that she was being robbed.
"Ma'am, I ain't got no time for this," the robber was quoted as saying before fleeing with a fistful of lollipops.
Police said the suspect -- who has not been identified is believed to have taken a total of about $300 in robberies at a Fed Ex office, Modell's sporting goods store and an IHOP restaurant.
Naked man who watched wedding arrested
CHARLESTON, S.C., March 13 (UPI) -- Police in South Carolina said a man who watched a wedding with his genitals pressed against a window was charged with indecent exposure.
Investigators said Samuel James Dengel, 20, of Chalfont, Pa., was staying at the DoubleTree Hotel in Charleston and his room was overlooking the courtyard where a wedding took place Saturday, the Philadelphia Daily News reported Wednesday.
Wedding guests said Dengel was watching the wedding with his genitals pressed against the window and he "placed his buttocks against the glass several times and bent over," the police report said.
Dengel, who police said was in the room with a woman, was charged with indecent exposure.