Well, if all the way from Mexico and in the United States illegally.
The Arizona Republic reported Mirna Valenzuela won $1,200 at the slot machines, the threshold for when casino managers ask for identification so they can report winnings to tax authorities.
Officials at the Casino del Sol Resort were suspicious of Valenzuela's ID, which turned out to be perfectly legitimate. Their suspicions, however, led them to turning the ID over to Pascua Yaqui police, who discovered Valenzuela and her daughter were in the country illegally and had them deported.
The casino said -- apparently straight-faced -- that Valenzuela can collect her winnings if she shows up in person with a valid ID.
In Palm Bay, Fla., don't try shoplifting, no matter how small the coveted item might be.
In the case in question, WKMG-TV, Orlando, reported the object of desire was a $1.29 Iced Honey Bun. The thief, police allege, was 18-year-old Brandon Phillips who fled on a bicycle after being confronted by the store manager.
Here's the catch: Phillips had stuffed the Iced Honey Bun down his pants, which pretty much guaranteed the store didn't want that Honey Bun back anymore.
Still, Phillips was charged with three crimes for one Honey Bun -- petit theft, flight from arrest and resisting in the recovery of merchandise.
Police said they caught him with help from a K-9 unit.
What boy hasn't pointed at someone with a thumb sticking in the air and said, "Stick 'em up!" or "Gotcha!" or shot off a few rounds of "Pa-chew, pa-chew, pa-chew," and then blew the pretend smoke away from his red-hot index finger?
Don't try that in Silver Spring, Md., however, unless you have a good lawyer.
School authorities took exception when a 6-year-old pointed at someone with a .22-caliber index finger and said "pow," imitating a gun sound, since the finger wasn't actually loaded with live ammo -- given it was a finger, after all.
The child, however, was suspended for his gesture, which was done in the poorest of timing -- one week after the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newton, Conn., in which 20 students and six staff members where killed.
A Montgomery County Public School official said the boy had been warned earlier about a similar incident, but the school rescinded the suspension, anyway, perhaps because of that proverbial good lawyer.
The family's attorney, Robin Ficker, said the school had agreed to expunge the boy's record and lift the suspension.