Every year human beings surpass their previous record in the category of flat out weirdness.
Of course, that's patently ridiculous, but it's also inevitable when you think about it. You can't have advancements in science, medicine and Justin Bieber's anti-gravity hair without a complimentary set of advancements in strange behavior.
Yin relies on yang just as much as heat relies on cold or light relies on dark. On the other hand, maybe there are just more cameras around these days to catch people in the act. Either way, there were times when 2012 seemed very strange.
You could start your 2012 tour of the unusual in Gothenburg, Sweden, an otherwise modern enough town where a Swedish woman was convicted of disturbing the peace -- but not of the living, of the dead.
How does one do that, exactly? In this case, the 37-year-old woman who denied the charges was convicted of using human bones as sex toys.
Sex is always a good place to look for eyebrow-raising weirdness. Sometimes, there's a small victory to be noted as there was in the case of the federal worker in Canberra, Australia, who was engaged in intercourse in a motel room, when a glass fitting on a lamp above the bed came loose and struck her on the face.
Well, what would you do? The Sidney Morning Herald reported the woman's claim for worker's compensation was turned down, but that decision was reversed in a lawsuit with the court ruling that, "had the applicant been injured while playing a game of cards in her motel room she would be entitled to compensation even though it could not be said that her employer induced or encouraged her to engage in such an activity."
A spokesman for the insurance company Comcare said the company might appeal the decision.
"The issue is a significant one. Workers need to be clear about their entitlements and employers should have an understanding of their responsibilities and how to support their staff," the spokesman said.
Perhaps one of the more painful stories of the year came from Elblag, Poland, where Tomasz Paczkowski, 32, said he was helping his wife with the housework, but was paying more attention to a boxing match on television than to what he was doing.
When the phone rang, Paczkowski picked up the hot iron and pressed it to his ear, the British newspaper The Daily Telegraph reported.
That has to hurt. Apparently, in fact, it hurt enough so that Paczkowski bolted for the bathroom to pour cold water on his ear when, in his panic, he missed the door opening and slammed into the door frame, instead.
That maybe more painful, but the most embarrassing moment of the year may have taken place in Magnitogorsk, Russia, where a 20-year-old woman wearing only a T-shirt became stuck in a trash chute as she tried to retrieve a bag of cosmetics.
No big deal? Workers had to use a blow torch to cut the trash chute in half to free the woman, RIA Novosti reported.
Yes, weird never rests and sleeps poorly when it does. In Barcelona, Spain, this year, police arrested a woman who was attempting to board a plane, but airport authorities noticed two wounds at the bottom of each of her breasts.
How they got that far was not explained, but Europa Press reported the woman was taken to the hospital, where it was discovered that she was carrying more than two pounds of cocaine in her breast implants, one of which was leaking, allowing the cocaine to seep into her bloodstream.
In Williston Park, N.Y., police arrested a man for attempted murder after he shot his girlfriend during an argument.
They had been watching AMC's "The Walking Dead," and began arguing about whether or not a zombie outbreak could or could not actually occur.
"He feels strongly about the possibility that some military mishap could occur. She thinks it's ridiculous," said Nassau County Detective Lt. Raymond Cote, as quoted on ABC News.
The strangest technique of the year in the everlasting search for love may have occurred in Hollywood, Fla., where authorities arrested a man for posing as a dentist and kissing a female patient on the buttocks after giving her an injection.
Authorities said the ruse included making up an apartment to look like a dentist's office and charging the unsuspecting woman $65 for the office visit.
The man also touched the woman's genitals inappropriately, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported.
Of course, there are also times when the authorities should just leave well enough alone, such as the case of the Irishman and the British woman who were sentenced to three months in jail and deportation for having sex in the back of a taxi cab in the United Arab Emirates.
And then there is the Piedmont, Okla., police officer who was fired after writing a $2,500 ticket for the mother of a 3-year-old who had urinated on the front lawn of the family's home.
How strange is strange? In Michigan City, Ind., the South Bend Tribune reported, a pro wrestler was paid $15,000 to have a Mitt Romney logo tattooed on his face.
The man, Eric Hartsburg, then decided he wanted the tattoo removed because Romney was a "sore loser."
"I could deal with being a part of a losing campaign, but to still stand behind Governor Romney with the positions he's taken post-election with the blame game instead. To be such a sore loser about it, to me I can't walk around representing that," he said.
And that, of course, is one of the first lessons in politics, where saving face is the name of the game.
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