Don't try this at home -- or elsewhere!

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Don't do that here.

That, apparently, is give birth and here, allegedly, is at work.

The case involves a former manager for a New York hotel, who is suing her former employer after she was fired after giving birth in one of the hotel's business rooms.

Bad manager!

The woman, Tara Tan, said she returned to work three days after the birth and was told her pay would be docked for the work time she had missed.

Soon after that, says a lawsuit reported by the New York Post, part of the woman's responsibilities were taken away. In addition she was accused of stealing boxes -- falsely, the woman said. Then she was fired.

She was told her dismissal was because she did not blend into "the culture of the hotel," her lawsuit says.

By "culture of the hotel," Tan said her bosses meant "thin of model-like proportions or one of 'the beautiful people' desired at the hotel."

The Huffington Post reported Tan worked 100 hours per week before she gave birth in a guest room at New York's Standard Hotel and that she is suing for $10 million.

At J.C. Penney Co., you might better ask if employees cleaned themselves after using the bathroom instead of planting your cellphone in a ceiling fan, which was aimed, incidentally, at the bathroom's toilets.

As it was a cellphone, when it was discovered police dialed the number of an employee whom others suspected was behind the videotaping phone and, sure enough, the suspect answered the call.

The employee, Marco Bartolon-Velasquez was charged with video voyeurism after he told police he was trying to ensure workers did their jobs, although he admitted he had not done any videotaping in the men's room.

The South Florida Sun Sentinel reported on the over-zealous employee.

And don't try hiring strippers for your teenage son's birthday party -- thoughtful mother though you might be.

In South Glen Falls, N.Y., the Schenectady Daily Gazette reported, police said they were investigating allegations that a woman -- name not released -- threw a surprise party for her 16-year-old son at a bowling alley and part of the package -- cake! balloons! party favors! strippers! -- was the appearance of dancers from a local gentlemen's club.

Needless to say, it was a well-attended bash. About 80 people showed up to the -- apparently -- very popular kid's party, most of them 14- and 15-year-olds, the New York newspaper said.

In Ankara, Turkey, meanwhile, "love store" is now the officially recommended term for what used to be, in the bad old days, ye olde neighborhood "erotic store."

The Hurriyet Daily News reported the decree came from Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan for shopkeepers to switch their signs from "erotic" to "love."

No news on other official whitewashing. Skin is still skin. Peep is still peep, apparently. Where is George Carlin when you really need him?