Jockstrip: The world as we know it.

Invented language inspired by Colbert

EVANSTON, Ill., July 11 (UPI) -- Researchers at Northwestern University in Evanston, Ill., said they have invented a language named for famed alumni Stephen Colbert.

Viorica Marian, associate professor of communication sciences, said her team needed to invent a new language to conduct research into whether knowing multiple languages makes learning a new language easier, and they chose Colbert as the language's inspiration due to his tendency to invent new words as part of his political satire.

"Stephen Colbert has brought new words like 'truthiness' and 'Lincolnish' into the lexicon," Marian said. "We had to invent a new language to do our research, and no one invents words as readily as Stephen Colbert. Naming our new language after Colbert was a no-brainer."

Marian said the Colbertian words were designed not to resemble any words in English or Spanish.

James Bartolotti, co-author of the study, said bilingual study participants had an easier time learning the invented language.

"It turns out that skill, once acquired, helps you learn a new language. And that knowledge of another language confers all kinds of benefits," he said.

Volvo nears 3 million mile mark

PATCHOGUE, N.Y., July 11 (UPI) -- A New York state man said he is only 34,000 miles short of reaching the 3 million mile mark in his 1966 Volvo P1800S.

Irvin Gordon, 72, of Patchogue, a retired schoolteacher, said he is in no rush to reach the milestone, which is believed to have never been attained by another car, the New York Daily News reported Tuesday.

"I could do that going out for coffee between now and Christmas. That would be no problem," he said of driving the last 34,000 miles. "But I'm not going to do it. I'm in no rush."

Gordon, who purchased the car for $3,962.20 in June 1966, has held the Guinness World Record for a High Mileage Vehicle since 2002.

Suspect gets tangled in window blinds

ALBUQUERQUE, July 11 (UPI) -- Albuquerque police said a suspected burglar was arrested after getting caught in window blinds while attempting to flee.

Police said they received a call Sunday about a man trying to break into Central New Mexico Community College and they arrived to see Thomas Molina, 38, attempting to flee, KRQE-TV, Albuquerque, reported Tuesday.

However, Molina's escape was short lived, as he soon became stuck in some blinds while trying to climb out a window.

Molina, who told police he was looking for computer hardware, was charged with burglary and breaking and entering.

Pastry chefs from around the world compete

LAS VEGAS, July 11 (UPI) -- Team Japan was victorious at the World Pastry Team Championship in Las Vegas while South Korea's chocolate sculpture met with disaster.

The contest, which pits teams against one another to create the most impressive sculptures from chocolate and sugar in 13 hours, was won by the Japanese team Monday at Red Rock Resort, while Team USA took second and the Netherlands came in third, the Las Vegas Sun reported Tuesday.

The South Korean team's sculpture met with disaster when the fragile creation crumbled upon reaching the judge's table.

"These pieces are more fragile than glass," said Gary Guittard, a chocolate maker who provided materials to Team USA.

Alicia Boada, technical consultant for chocolate company Barry Callebaut, said the chefs spend more than a year planning their sculptures.

"These chefs put their lives on hold and immerse themselves in the competition, hoping they can move to the next level of their careers," she said.

"These teams go through their entire careers to advance their skills little by little, and the pinnacle of their career is to compete," Boada said. "When they win, their careers take off into dynamic directions."