It was a wild week in some respects.
Furry wildlife provided some of the fun. Stupid criminal tricks filled in the gaps.
Don't try raiding bird feeders in Montpelier, Vt.
To do so risks getting chased off by the state's governor, Peter Shumlin, who scared off four bears who were feasting at his bird feeders. Although outnumbered and, incidentally, wearing absolutely nothing, Shumlin shooed the bears away with the use of what he called "my strongest Vermonter" voice, the Burlington Free Press reported.
The governor said he did his best to be gruff. It worked for a moment, but during his second venture out to bring in two of his bird feeders, one of the bruins got surly and chased the governor back to his porch.
"He just booked it for the porch," the governor said.
He also explained later that "real Vermonters boys don't wear pajamas."
But it's in California -- wouldn't you know it -- where bears have their own Twitter accounts.
It turns out, even bears get 15 minutes of fame.
The Los Angeles Times reported a bear in suburban Glendale opened a Twitter account, compliments of the California Department of Fish and Game, who said it took four tranquilizer darts to put "Glen Bearian" to sleep so they could cart him away and release him back into the wild.
Officials said Glen Bearian then went camping, apparently, as they released him in the Angeles National Forest, where "He's got a heck of a hangover, mostly," department spokesman Andrew Hughan said.
"The game warden said he's unhappy. We don't know what kind of headache he's got," Hughan said.
So familiar. Go to the big city, get involved in drugs, get carted off to rehab in an isolated, tranquil setting.
Among the don't-try-a-career-as-a-criminal-if-you-can't-cut-it stories, police in San Antonio said two robbers fled the crime scene after their own gun went off accidentally and scared them away.
WOAI-TV reported the would-be heist took place at the Valero Corner Store on Culebra Road.
How about not letting your stepson go to school without checking what he wants to bring for show and tell?
In the case of Santos Roman, the Connecticut Post reported, his 5-year-old stepson went to the Barnum School and for show and tell displayed $500 worth of heroin.
What can you say? The next show and tell will be, apparently, in front of a judge, the newspaper said.