Well, seriously, what's the harm? Police said a woman in Vero Beach this past week could "offer no explanation" for sitting in the front seat of her boyfriend's car without any clothes. Her boyfriend's story was slightly different: When he came home, he said, the alleged nudist, Tammy Roseman, was in his home busting up the place au natural.
The TC Palm said this was the same woman arrested in 2011 for flashing a passing school bus full of elementary kids.
Generally speaking, the reaction to the police showing up at your doorstep, should not be to get naked.
Police this week -- also in Vero Beach -- were investigating a possible burglary called in by a neighbor. When they arrived, they found Susan Stickle, 31, and Eric Bachman, 44, on the porch.
Police said the pair appeared to be at least a little drunk and just as likely stoned, as well.
How did they know this? Hint No. 1 was that as they confronted the couple, Bachman failed to explain it was probably not a robbery, given that he actually belonged on the property.
Stickle's reaction was a bit more direct. She bared her chest to the officers, who noted in their report -- for what it was worth -- that she had a poem tattooed across her chest.
Speaking of clothing optional, don't try skinny-dipping at a city beach in Minneapolis -- but if you do, you might try the excuse being used by a man who calls his nude swim last summer performance art.
The alleged artist, Patrick Scully, seemed to muddy the waters, however, by also claiming he was swimming nude to protest a repressive society, which now makes his dip in the raw political performance art.
The Minneapolis Star Tribune reported the police panned Scully's reasons. To them, he was just breaking the law, the newspaper said.
A jury will try to sort through the matter in May. In the meantime, "I believe that you have to be the change that you want to see in the world," Scully, who has performed naked as a dancer on stage, told the newspaper last week.
He also said, "I'd like to live in a world in which our relationship to our bodies is much more relaxed and much less fearful."
Under the category of there's more ways than one to skin a cat: There's also more ways than one to take a shower.
Police in Abbotsford, British Columbia, found three young men, none of them sober, getting dressed at a local car wash.
Had officers arrived a bit earlier, they would have found the three had stripped off their clothes and ridden through the car wash in a shopping cart.
"Not knowing at this point whether they picked 'typhoon' or 'super typhoon' I'd suggest that either of those and the combination of the brushes that would have come past them would be enough to definitely leave you with a little bit of a memory of what you had done the prior night," said Constable Ian MacDonald, as quoted by the British Broadcasting Corp.
Are they still taking nominations for the Idiotic Criminals Hall of Fame?
If so, here's someone who might be a candidate.
A woman in Chicago walked into a bank this week, the Chicago Tribune reported, and handed the teller a note that demanded "all of your money, no cops, no dye pack."
The teller, however, responded that the bank was closed and told the woman to come back the next day.
And it worked. The woman, Olga Perdomo, left the bank and was arrested outside with a man identified as Willie Weathersby, who police recognized as a suspect in a robbery of $2,589 from the same bank in late March.