Don't try this at home -- or elsewhere!

When a judge says, "don't," it gets dicey to try his or her patience, wherever you are.

A judge in Painesville, Ohio, this week sentenced two river-traveling thrill seekers to volunteer work for lying about a trip down the Grand River, in which the pair, Grace Nash and Bruce Crawford, were not wearing life jackets, WJW-TV, Cleveland, reported.

The trip down the river provoked a flurry of rescue operations that included fire personnel and rescue helicopters. But when they were confronted by authorities, the two said they were not on the river.

Judge Michael Cicconetti had a solution: He sentenced the thrill seekers to 6 hours of handing out fliers at the Painesville festival. For two of those hours, Nash and Crawford were ordered to hand out the fliers while standing in ankle-deep water in a kiddie pool.

In Danville, Ill., don't bet on the rodents.

WQAD-TV in Moline, Ill., said the owners of the Bucktail Lodge in Danville were issued tickets for knowingly allowing gambling on mouse races on the premises.

"We didn't know we were committing a criminal act, what is the act?" asked Scott Beach, one of the owners.

In Tampa Bay, Fla., don't try wearing a "Yankees Suck" T-shirt to a game at Tropicana Field, home of the Tampa Bay Rays.

The word "suck" is considered offensive, which meant Yankee critic Melton Little was asked to turn his shirt inside out or leave the game, the St. Petersburg Times reported.

Little choose to leave the game and said, "I teach my kids to say that instead of other four-letter words."

Either way, it's unlikely a road show of "Damn Yankees" will ever play at Tropicana Field.

There is likely a frustrated judge in Spokane, Wash., where police said David Britt, 21, wrecked his rented Chevy Tahoe while fairly wrecked himself -- reeking of alcohol and, he said later, high on cocaine.

After a high-speed chase -- and subsequent crash -- Britt told police he was driving a rental because he wrecked his own car while … three guesses … high on cocaine.

Britt was hospitalized after the second crash and made his statements after being jolted by a Taser, as he initially refused to surrender to police.